Does anyone actually think Justin Bieber is a racist?
The newest tape of the singer being an idiot is all over the Internet — our favourite coverage in the Daily Mail has Bieber "non-stop crying" over it all — and his apology has likewise appeared everywhere.
For the second time, he's accused of using racist language.
First there was the video of Bieber using the n-word to tell a childish joke about a chainsaw.
Then came the second video, with the pop star rearranging the words to One Less Lonely Girl. He sings something about, "One less lonely n----, if I kill you, I'll join the KKK," while some little friends giggle madly in the background.
What a tool.
Billboard suggests that Bieber must have feared the resurfacing of the videos for some time, "given that his career was being steered by black musicians." As the magazine points out, "He's determinedly infiltrated urban culture with his sound, collaborations, evolving appearance and close affiliation with hip-hop artists."
Other than biting the creative hand that feeds him, there may have been a few other reasons why Bieber would worry about that tape coming back to haunt him.
He wouldn't have wanted his fans to know what a hayseed he actually is.
He wouldn't have wanted to look stupid to the whole world.
He wouldn't have wanted his peeps to think of him as a dumb cracker.
It is likely Bieber was clueless as to just how insensitive he was being when he made these racial slurs at age 14. It has been our experience that political correctness exists mostly in big cities and that redneckery rises exponentially with distance from urban centres. Not that we're inclined to make excuses for the Biebs, but he did grow up in a town of 31,000 people, and Statistics Canada reports that only 250 of the 1100 visible minorities living there are black.
(Is there something a little creepy about the existence of those stats, or is it just us?)
Anyway, Stratford is not exactly a multicultural hotspot. We offer statistics because the alternative is to suggest that Bieber was raised by wolves; heaven forfend. But we remind you about those pesky rumours that Bieber's mom, Pattie Mallette, was initially worried about the fact that Scooter Braun is Jewish. She would have preferred a Christian manager.
Anti-Semite? Not likely. Just more of the particular ignorance a former editor of ours used to call, 'New to the Big City'.
It's a steep learning curve, especially for a kid who didn't know what the word 'German' meant, who thought it would be cool to have a pet monkey and who actually drove an Audi with a leopard-print paint job.
The cruel but accurate reading of all this: Bieber is a hick.
Furthermore, Bieber's public apologies are a tad fishy. They emphasize his youth at the time the videos were made.
"As a kid, I didn't understand," begins one. "I just hope that the next 14-year-old kid who doesn't understand," is another phrase that attempts to put all of this at the arm's length of silly youth.
Watch him own this! Watch him step up and admit and be the man!
Watch him use youth to gloss over bad behaviour!
On top of everything else, the kid needs a new spin-doctor.