Robin Thicke's attempts to win back his estranged wife are fascinating.
You know — fascinating in much the same way that, say, watching a python swallow a cow is fascinating.
You really don't want to look, but you can't look away.
We have no desire to kick the guy when he's down. Nonetheless, his new video for Get Her Back is just weird. And ugly, in some important spiritual or philosophical way. And boring, not to put too fine a point on it.
It's like he's her stalker. What the hell is a person supposed to make of that thing?
The grovelling is off-putting, for starters, mostly because it sounds so insincere.
What's with the shot of Thicke's face all bloody? Is he bloody and bowed now? Defeated in love? Is there a domestic violence situation being hinted at?
She tried to scratch his eyes out? What? Are we supposed to guess?
Why is he singing with his shirt off? Naked honesty? Ha, ha — little joke there.
All the whining about what he should have done differently (um, kissed you longer? Held you stronger? — that's just sad, buddy) is one message, but the women caressing his body throughout the video is another message altogether.
Is the female presence — all of them — supposed to be his estranged wife, Paula Patton?
Don't think so.
The couple separated last February. Gossip sheets have them headed for divorce. His heartbroken new album, coming up July 1, is called Paula. And yet somehow this remains all about Thicke.
The video contains text messages, including these ones, ostensibly from her to him:
- You drink too much.
- You embarrassed me.
Really? Is that how deep the song is going to go? Because neither of those sounds like a reason to leave a marriage. Just saying'.
The list of things Thicke did wrong doesn't seem to include any public womanizing or daft sexual behaviour with fans. If you're going to take the time to write a song and put in some offhand grovelling, it would be useful to include the whole list of transgressions. And not gloss over anything.
Okay, more questions: the water imagery? The masks? The native headdress? The roses? The head-clutching? The grimacing?
What's that all about? It has to be more than just an homage to bad art, right?
Heartbreak leads to hallucination, maybe.
Here's an odd lyric: "I never should have raised my voice or made you feel so small." Is that creepy, or is it just us? Raised my voice? Wha?
And what does this mean: "It’s so hard — but it doesn't have to be."
Why does Thicke fade out at the end until he looks like Klaatu in The Day the Earth Stood Still? Is he an extra-terrestrial? Undernourished? Fading away from love deprivation?
It's all so confusing.
And comes across as so dishonest.
Here's our favourite exchange among the video's text messages:
Sez him: I wrote a whole album about you.
Sez her: I don't care.
Sez her: You ruined everything.
That pretty much sums it up.