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There must have been a point in Adam Sandler’s life where he was:
A) A nerd who was bullied.
B) A jock who bullied nerds.
C) A nerd who bullied kids who were even nerdier than himself.
After having sat through The Benchwarmers, the latest attempt at humour from Sandler’s Happy Madison production company, I’m leaning towards C.
For there is no other way to explain not only the assemblage of oddball characters brought together here, but the sheer mean-spirited treatment they have to endure before reluctantly being accepted by society’s ‘normal’ faction.
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Don’t be fooled by trailers. The Benchwarmers is not so much Revenge of the Nerds as it is that kid who loved to go to the carnival just to poke fun at the freaks.
The main freaks in this case are Gus, Richie and Clark, three unlikely amigos who find themselves battling for the pride of nerds everywhere after one day coming to the rescue of the son of a billionaire (Jon Lovitz).
Gus (Rob Schneider) is the leader of the bunch. He not only holds a decent job and has the kind of hot wife (Molly Sims) only Rob Schneider could get in a movie, but is also a bit of a jock.
On the other hand, both Richie (David Spade) and Clark (Jon Heder) are life-long members of the spaz patrol. Richie is the proverbial 40-year-old virgin who works at a video rental store and lives with his brother, an agoraphobe with a mortal fear of the sun.
Clark, (Hedder once again doing his Napoleon Dynamite thing), is a nose-picking newspaper delivery boy who drives a three-wheeled bike, lives with his mother and says “dude” and “gosh” a lot.
After the three of them defeat a little league baseball team that had tried to bully some kids off the field, the billionaire comes up with the idea of having them play against junior meanies everywhere, putting them on the road so nerds everywhere can cheer them on.
Of course behind every mean little kid with a baseball bat is an even meaner dad who targeted guys like Gus, Richie and Clark when they were in high school. And as we’ve seen in other Sandler films, the former jocks are not only stupid and one-dimensional, they’re also usually repressing homosexual tendencies that play out at the most opportune times.
Making another film of this ilk could almost be forgiven if at least the comedy was fresh. But all we get here are midgets, groin shots, nose-picking, vomit, more nose-picking and a drunk Dominican.
There’s also nothing funny in watching a grown man intentionally hit a kid in the chest with a sizzling line drive, or even worse, drop-kicking a 12-year-old catcher unconscious.
It would appear the nerds are no longer just content with revenge, now they’re out for blood.
(This film is rated PG)