PLOT: A fish-out-of-water southern boy gets dropped into the sea of humanity that is Tokyo, where he has to master the Japanese sport of sliding slick cars through tight turns.
What would happen if they made a The Fast And The Furious movie with a talented indie director, a young lead who's got genuine charisma and a setting so cool you can't take your eyes off the scenery?
It still wouldn't be good. But it would be less bad than you might expect.
The Fast And The Furious: Tokyo Drift gets bonus points for erasing memories of the power-drills-to-the-eardrums second instalment in the cartoony street racing franchise, primarily by taking the show on the road to Japan under director Justin Lin (Better Luck Tomorrow).
Not sure why 2 Fast 2 Furious's Paul Walker didn't sign on for this one, but no need to look a gift horse in the mouth. Instead, we have Lucas "That Kid From Sling Blade" Black strapping in as 'Bama-born bad boy Sean Boswell, a ne'er-do-well who gets shipped off to his daddy in Tokyo to avoid doing jail time for street racing stateside.
Before you can say "domo arigato," Sean has locked horns with gangsta/street racer D.K. (Brian Tee) by making the mistake of talking to his hottie Australian galpal (Nathalie Kelley). Clearly, their grudge will be settled behind the wheel.
But look out! In this movie's heightened reality, "drift racing" -- souped up cars sliding around corners with video game precision -- is all the rage, and only by mastering it with Zen-like concentration can Sean avenge a fallen friend, beat D.K. at his own game, get the girl and save the day.
Tokyo Drift hits every required plot point firmly but without much flair, and the dialogue frequently feels as if it were generated by the Cliche-O-Matic 9000. But the cars are the stars, and the exotic and almost artistic drifting makes the otherwise formulaic races strangely watchable.
Tokyophiles will find a lot to love in the flick's setting, although it reduces Japanese trends and customs to Hello Kitty stereotypes that make Lost In Translation look like a PBS documentary. The famous five-way crosswalk in Shibuya shows up repeatedly, most memorably in a scene where the masses part as the cars slide through the intersection surrounded by walls of stunned pedestrians. Riiiiiiidge RACER!
Perhaps best of all, Tokyo Drift essentially pretends the first two movies in the series never happened, except for a painfully forced tip of the hat in the final scene that will make you wonder what a guy gets paid for a cameo like that.
And no, it's not Paul Walker. Whew.
BOTTOM LINE: Shifting the action to Japan makes this third movie in the over-the-top street racing series a lot fresher, but you'll still need to shift your brain into neutral to keep your suspension of disbelief from bottoming out.
(This film is rated PG)