Celebrities say the darndest things.

Of course, those things are often inappropriate, self-deprecating, insulting or downright dirty -- but if they hadn't said them, we wouldn't be able to bring you the best entertainment quotes of 2006. Enjoy.

"I'm so tired of thinking about myself. I'm kinda sick of myself."

-- Brad Pitt was, like, so over himself after Angelina Jolie gave birth to their daughter Shiloh

"Lord help us if we have to spend any money."

-- local rapper Fresh I.E. was worried taking his teenage kids along for a trip to the Grammys would leave him broke

"Quite frankly, my eggs are rotting."

-- The Bachelor: Paris contestant Allie G. explains why she wanted to be on the show

"Can we start with a baby kiss?"

-- Winnipeg's The Bachelor: Paris contender Sarah Blondin would settle for anything after bachelor Travis Stork told her he wants to take it slow

"After 45 years of this crap I've just started to enjoy it."

-- The Who guitarist Pete Townshend gives the brutal truth about his music career

"It is my own stupid fault, as usual."

-- pop singer George Michael, after being arrested for suspected drug possession in London

"My belly is famous. The terrible thing is it's gotten bigger."

-- Trailer Park Boys' shirtless John Dunsworth -- aka Randy -- thinks his beer belly bulge has gone too far

"He just hugged me backstage which was, to be honest, arousing."

-- Coldplay frontman Chris Martin, after a run-in with CanRocker Bryan Adams at the Juno Awards

"I can take it. I have high heels and they dig in deep."

--Junos host Pamela Anderson after a stream of boos from the Halifax audience, who weren't fans of her protest against the seal hunt

"It was spiritual. It was powerful. It was indescribable. What words can you use?"

--Tom Cruise on the birth of his daughter, Suri

"My show ain't no Dr. Phil, with people sitting around and crying. You're a fool -- that's what's wrong with you. You're a fool if you don't take my advice."

-- former A-Team star Mr. T took a tough love approach with his advice show, I Pity the Fool

"I know I'm too thin right now, so I wouldn't want any young girl looking up at me and saying 'That's what I want to look like.' I do know they will, which is another reason I really do need to do something about it. I'm not very happy with the way I look right now."

-- Nicole Ritchie finally admitted she's too skinny for her own good

"Don't worry Dave, it's not yours."

-- Britney Spears, announcing her second pregnancy on the Late Show with David Letterman

"I hope I wasn't too much of a pain in the arse. After all it was my head they fixed."

-- Rolling Stones lead guitarist Keith Richards tried not to be too much of a headache while in hospital for head surgery

"I'm living the American Dream!"

-- singer Taylor Hicks, after winning American Idol

"When you're a rebel, you rebel against everything."

-- shock rocker Alice Cooper hasn't lost his edge

"Thanks to all the perverts who voted for me."

-- Jessica Alba, while picking up the MTV Movie Award for sexiest performance for her arousing role in Sin City

"For some people, playing a bipolar nymphomaniac may have been a challenge, but for me, I think I just played myself."

-- Wedding Crashers' virgin-turned-vixen Isla Fisher, after winning the MTV Award for breakthrough performance

"Who am I going to fight with?"

-- The View co-host Joy Behar, after Star Jones Reynolds announced she was leaving the show

"I have two words for you: champagne."

-- Pamela Anderson had a bubbly way to ease her jitters before marrying Kid Rock (Note to Pam: that's only one word)

"I am not an anti-Semite. I am not a bigot. Hatred of any kind goes against my faith."

-- Mel Gibson says he's not a hater -- after slurring anti-Semitic remarks during a drunk driving arrest

"I can honestly say you haven't seen the last of me."

-- local Canadian Idol contender Rob James, to host Ben Mulroney after getting booted from the Top 10

"They hate me. They don't think I'm right for the role. It's as simple as that."

-- Casino Royale star Daniel Craig had a lot to prove to James Bond fans

"It just kind of happened."

-- Britney Spears, on how baby No. 2 was conceived

"I'm just one tiny person on this planet but thanks to all you guys, I'm feeling like I'm sitting on top of the world."

-- Quebec's Eva Avila, after being crowned the fourth Canadian Idol

"I'm keeping my balls and I'm happy."

-- Grey's Anatomy star Patrick Dempsey refused to let the females on the show boss around his character, Dr. McDreamy

"I believe in my heart that if Jesus were alive today he would be doing the same thing."

-- Madonna defends her infamous mock crucifixion

"The only thing that's changed on The Price is Right is the colour of my hair."

-- Price is Right host Bob Barker, who will retire from the long-running game show in the new year

"I did it with my dad. I'd sit on his lap and I'd drive. We're country."

-- Britney Spears, after being slagged for driving with her young son Sean Preston on her lap

"Clint is the only man I've ever met who has given me confidence, has loaned me strength and made me really believe in myself."

-- local actor Adam Beach's self-esteem boost courtesy of Flags of Our Fathers director, Clint Eastwood

"They don't know that I paid for my own album and I paid my way. I paid my dues to be able to do this."

-- Kevin Federline -- now known as FedEx -- insisted his former wife wasn't his bank

"I'm not a racist. That's what's so insane about this."

-- Michael Richards (aka Kramer) tries to explain his racial outburst at an L.A. comedy club during a painfully awkward satellite appearance on The Late Show with David Letterman

"I made it clear that it's blood money, but it's no different than any of the other writers who did books on this case."

-- O.J. Simpson admits his book, If I Did It (which was not published), was meant to be a cash grab

"I don't know where that hand's been, honey."

-- Live With Regis and Kelly host Kelly Ripa cringed when American Idol Clay Aiken put his hand over her mouth

"Our events are consistent and reliable and fun. Just like the Dodge Neon."

-- The 'Peg's own DJ Co-op knows how to throw a kickass shindig

"That video that Kanye West put out is the most worthless piece of crap I've ever seen in my life."

-- Daredevil Evel Knievel, who sued rapper West for infringing his trademark name in his Touch the Sky vid

"I haven't had a drink in seven days. Or anything."

-- AA regular Lindsay Lohan is, like, seriously, sober

"I think he definitely knows that I'm someone special and that I feed him. I'm the milk cow."

-- Gwen Stefani is her son Kingston's source of calcium

"If the ushers aren't wiping the seats down when you're finished, you haven't done your job."

-- Comedian Ron James takes his job seriously

"It was an accident ... so stupid. It was like running with a pencil."

-- Terri Irwin on the stingray death of her husband, Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin

"I probably did take my newfound freedom a little too far. Anyway, thank God for Victoria's Secrets' new underwear line!"

-- a newly single Britney Spears after being photographed sans panties way too many times

"If only my wealth and my position could have made things go faster. I assure you it doesn't matter who you are and how much money you have, nothing goes fast in Africa."

-- Madonna on adopting a Malawian boy

"I have had it with these mother@#$&ing snakes on this mother@#$%ing plane!"

-- Samuel L. Jackson getsss hissy as Neville Flynn in Snakes on a Plane

"He was drunk as a skunk."

-- Joy Behar, after Danny DeVito appeared wasted on ABC's The View

"Left the first wife, had an affair, left the second wife, had an affair. Had kids both times, but he's the moral compass for 20-year-olds in America. Donald, sit and spin, my friend."

-- Rosie O'Donnell bashes Donald Trump for letting party-hearty Miss USA Tara Conner keep her crown

"Rosie O'Donnell is disgusting, I mean both inside and out. Take a look at her, she's a slob. She talks like a truck driver ... I never went bankrupt, but she said I went bankrupt. So probably I'll sue her because it would be fun. I'd like to take some money out of her fat-ass pockets."

-- Donald Trump fires back at O'Donnell on The Insider

"I like to make sexy time!"

--Borat