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 Billy Bob Thornton as Freddy Krueger? Alas, this piece of casting gossip has been debunked, but it can't stop us from dreaming. (Sun Media photo illustration) |
Horror fiends needn't lose their heads -- or fingers or vital organs -- over speculation that Saw V marks the end of one of Hollywood's bloodiest, most profitable franchises.
Economics alone -- low cost, high return -- ensures the series will be around to bludgeon fans for many more witching seasons to come.
Still, venerable, ingeniously macabre serial murderer Jigsaw hardly qualifies as the new face of terror. Those spring-loaded jaw-bursters? So four years ago.
With this in mind -- and with Saw V in theatres this weekend -- what better time to mull what could be next on the drawing-and-quartering board?
But a word of warning: the following material may not be suitable for some filmgoers, especially those with good taste.
Friday the umpteenth
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Same hockey gear, still no penalty for slashing.
That's about all that's to be gleaned from the just-released trailer for next February's Friday the 13th, which returns Jason Voorhees to his roots at Camp Crystal Lake.
The remake is directed by Marcus Nispel (who similarly refashioned The Texas Chainsaw Massacre) and stars Jared Padalecki of TV's Supernatural. Behind the iconic mask is franchise newcomer Derek Mears.
"It's not just a regular slasher film," Mears told audiences at this summer's Comic-Con expo in San Diego. "It takes the best parts of (parts) II through IV and puts them all together. You understand the psychosis of what Jason is doing. It's pretty intense."
Echoed Padalecki, "It's got raw, raw scares."
In other words, don't expect Jason to wind up launched into cryogenic orbit or exchanging blows with Freddy Krueger.
Even the supernatural underpinnings that distinguished the early sequels to the 1980 original have been jettisoned in favour of Mrs. Voorhees's rampaging son hacking randy teens into fish bait.
"It's a creative choice we made," said producer Brad Fuller of the grittier, down-to-earth Jason.
More reboots, remakes and requels
No one is cannier at cannibalizing modern movie monsters than the opportunists at Platinum Dunes. The outfit, conceived by Armageddon director Michael Bay, has thus far been responsible for the rehashes of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Amityville Horror and The Hitcher. And they're far from finished. Next spring, they unveil their new Jason Voorhees in a Friday the 13th reboot.
Skeptical? So are fans, realizes producer Brad Fuller.
"You open yourself to all kinds of scrutiny. Our job as producers is trying to make it as good as we can and inject, hopefully, what the audience wants to see."
Post-Jason, Platinum Dunes may also redo Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds and Wes Craven's A Nightmare on Elm Street. While it was originally rumoured Billy Bob Thornton might play Freddy version 2.0, those reports have since been debunked. Non-Dunes-related remakes also abound: from Suspiria to -- "They're heeeere" -- Poltergeist.
Funnier slashers
Life -- and brutal dismemberment by raging masked lunatic -- are cyclical. Hence, why much of Hollywood believes the genre's next reinvention will recall the post-modernism of the 1990s Scream franchise. (Remember that in 1996, the genre was all but buried when Scream revitalized it with self-effacing humour and hip characters.)
Frankly, that's speculation "splat-pack" director Alexandre Aja (The Hills Have Eyes) could do without.
"I hope it's not going to be the comeback of the Scream slasher period," Aja said during interviews for Mirrors. "It was really frustrating in the '90s to see only those movies that were ironic, but not scary at all." But it's a nightmare scenario he may not be able to outrun: Scream 4 is already in the works.
More imports
Just because the Asian cinema remake machine is as cold as sushi -- after One Missed Call, The Eye and Shutter, do we really need more ghouls with stringy hair? -- it doesn't mean Hollywood is done importing horror. Case in point: the Swedish chiller Let The Right One In, which has generated rave reviews for its atmospheric 'tween vampire tale.
Already, Cloverfield director Matt Reeves has signed to helm the inevitable, sure-to-be regrettable Hollywood version.
Something new . . . maybe
But do so at your own peril. Even director Kevin Smith, who's trying to get a horror flick entitled Red State off the ground, says he's having trouble finding the cash. "No one wants to finance a very bleak, uncommercial movie, which I completely understand, especially in this economy."
The evolution of 3D
Aja is convinced next-generation 3D technology -- vastly more advanced than what cinema-goers endured during the B-flicks of the 1960s -- makes it a perfect companion to his visceral brand of eye-gouging terror. "When you're making a movie, everything is about immersion -- trying to take the audience from their seat and put them inside the screen."
He's so enthusiastic about the new tech he wants to shoot his next film -- a remake of Piranha -- in 3D.