POWERS
Vampire: Super fast, super strong, able to hypnotize prey (or “glamour” them, in True Blood-speak), and in some stories able to change form into a creature of the night.
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Zombie: Relentless, strong teeth, fast (in newer zombie movies). Hey, they’re animated corpses. That’s pretty impressive right there.
KILLED BY...
Vampires: Stake to the heart, sunlight, ultraviolet bullets (Underworld), entering a house uninvited (Let The Right One In), decapitation (Dracula).
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Zombies: Decapitation, bullets to the head or other cranial trauma. That’s pretty much it.
INFECTION
Vampires: Via bite wounds. If you’re not killed outright, you become a vampire.
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Zombies: Space radiation (Night Of The Living Dead), Voodoo (I Walked With A Zombie), man-made viruses (28 Days Later, Resident Evil), toxic waste (Return Of The Living Dead), the English language (Pontypool), dunno (Zombieland, Dawn Of The Dead remake).
FOOD
Vampires: Blood, True Blood brand blood substitute (True Blood), other blood substitutes (Blade).
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Zombies: If you said “Braaains!” you have Dan O’Bannon’s 1985 punk-zombie film Return Of The Living Dead on your mind (or its spoof on The Simpsons). Night Of The Living Dead branded them as flesh-eaters (also partial to sweetmeats). Prior to that, since they were only people under voodoo spells, I’m guessing they ate from the four food groups.
SEX
Vampires: Totally, whether it’s sexual tension and heaving bosoms (Dracula) or mature themes, sexual content and graphic nudity (True Blood). If you lived through the Hammer films era of Christopher Lee Draculas, I’ve got two words for you — Ingrid Pitt. Also, Susan Sarandon and Catherine Deneuve’s girl-on-girl action in The Hunger.
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Zombies: Very little. The Canadian gem Fido with Billy Connolly may be the only film I’ve ever seen with human/zombie sex.
FUNNY STUFF
Vampires: Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein, The Fearless Vampire Killers (Or Pardon Me, But Your Teeth Are In My Neck), Dracula: Dead And Loving It, Love At First Bite, Buffy The Vampire Slayer.
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Zombies: Return Of The Living Dead, Shaun Of The Dead, Fido, Zombieland.
OLD SCHOOL
Vampires: Count Orlock (Max Schreck) in Murnau’s silent Nosferatu. Bela Lugosi in Dracula. Christopher Lee in Horror Of Dracula. You didn’t see Max or Bela speed around like The Flash after prey. They pretty much hypnotized people to come to them.
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Zombies: White Zombie (1932) starring Bela Lugosi. Val Lewton/Jacques Tourneur’s I Walked with a Zombie (1943). Back in the voodoo day, zombies pretty much just sleep-walked until ordered to kill somebody by their zombie-master.
ART HOUSE/FOREIGN TAKE
Vampires: Thirst, Let The Right One In, Martin (George Romero made a vampire movie!), Daughters Of Darkness.
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Zombies: Dead Snow, Zombi 2, Re-Animator, Dead-Alive.
COOL CANADIAN TAKE
Vampires: Blood And Donuts, Suck, the TV series Forever Knight.
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Zombies: Pontypool, Fido.
METAPHORS
Vampires: Duh, sex! Sinful, sinful sex.
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Zombies: Man’s inhumanity to man (Survival Of The Dead), ecological awareness/proper waste disposal (Return Of The Living Dead), consumerism (Dawn Of The Dead), racism/slavery (Fido), science-run-amok (28 Days Later, Resident Evil), the importance of family (Zombieland), dunno (Pontypool).
jim.slotek@sunmedia.ca
