Bad hair day? Shy about that zit on your nose?
Could be worse. Could be much worse: You could be Jennifer Aniston.
You too could live 24/7 with a type of scrutiny that's so far past obsessive that there isn't even a word for it. If the woman eats a grape or forgets to wear Spanx, her 'baby bump' photos hit the cover of every supermarket tabloid in the land. A bad hair day for her (not that there's one in memory) is taken as a sign of relationship breakdown. A casual conversation with the pool boy has them paired off, married and pregnant.
Aniston has been pregnant, adopting or hoping for stepchildren ever single week for the past 10 years. The woman must be exhausted. Of course, everyone knows it's difficult to become a mother when your time is taken up with the crucial work of starring in The Bounty Hunter, The Switch, Just Go with It or Wanderlust.
The obvious conclusion -- that Aniston must not want children or she'd have birthed, borrowed or stolen some by now -- is a heresy that cannot be uttered aloud. People have been burnt at the stake for suggesting less about Miss A. Who brought all that straw in here?
Aniston is now officially engaged to Justin Theroux and not since, what? -- the parting of the Red Sea, maybe? -- has there been such a media frenzy over a single event. Henceforward, speculation about Aniston's love life will be transferred over to spittle-flecked bulletins about her dress for The Big Day, her hair (up or down?! We can't stand the suspense!!!!!) the guest list (estranged mom: Yes? No?) the gifts, the honeymoon, the future residence and the general triumph of hope over experience.
Meanwhile, her every move is so picked apart, interpreted and analyzed by followers that some cruel typists have suggested that Aniston's engagement was only announced to counter the mega-publicity afforded the possibility of a wedding between her ex, Brad Pitt, and that incorrigible hussy, Angelina Jolie.
As the fans know, Aniston married Pitt in 2000 and unmarried him in 2005.
He went on to have six kids with Jolie; Aniston went on to romances with a long list of lads, including Vince Vaughn, John Mayer and Gerard Butler. The phrase 'bum magnet' certainly springs to mind, doesn't it?
But only in unguarded moments. Mea culpa.
