|Frosty the Snowman
HOLLYWOOD -- This time of year it's not uncommon for folks to pick up part-time gigs in order to have some extra spending money for the holidays -- and that's no exception here in Tinseltown.
If you happen to be a struggling actor, there's ample opportunity for part-time seasonal work, especially if you can check any remaining traces of vanity at the door and be willing to place yourself in demeaning situations.
Here's our latest sampling of real casting calls, running the gamut from the good to the bad to the seriously freakish, presented, as always, in their original, unexpurgated form:
The gig: Classic Santa (print)
The role: Santa (Caucasian male, 50 to 80)
The breakdown: "Talent should be heavy in stature and look like a classic Norman Rockwell Santa. Should be comfortable with making a myriad of facial expressions and laughing heartily on command."
The compensation: $200 flat rate for 3 hours or less.
The gig: Portrait of Jesus (print)
The role: Jesus Sun Tanning (Caucasian male, 20 to 80)
The breakdown: "Will be playing Jesus laying on his towel sun tanning on the beach."
The compensation: $50 for two-four hours.
The gig: Emmy Award-winning daytime talk show
The role: Frosty the Snowman (male and female, all ethnicities, 18 to 55)
The breakdown:"Looking for actors with an expertise in playing Frosty the Snowman. Already having the costume is a MAJOR plus."
The compensation: "Expert medical advice."
The gig: Commercial
The role: Adult (male and female, all ethnicities, 18 to 99) with really small feet.
The breakdown:"Need an adult with a really small foot, preferably a kids shoe size 9-13. You will be making footprints in fake snow. Need someone who's not clumsy."
The compensation: $200
The gig: Subway ad
The role: Adults with chubby feet (Caucasian male, 30 to 50)
The breakdown:"Please take a picture of your feet, looking down on them as if you are looking at them on a scale. Only submit if they are chubby."
The compensation: $323
The gig: TV pilot
The role: Skinny guy (male, all ethnicities, 21 to 70)
The breakdown: "A man who is FRIGHTENINGLY SKINNY. He is featured in a fake banner for a porn site of plus-sized women. He will potentially be wearing an animal costume and getting spanked."
The compensation: TBD
The gig: Commercial
The role: Rashadon performer (males and females, all ethnicities, 20 to 40)
The breakdown:"Must be physical and expressive, and prepared to fall down. Prior stunt and martial arts training preferred. Able and willing to tolerate a long day in a heavy, hot Godzilla-type suit."
The compensation: $500 plus 15% session fee.
The gig: Crown Royal commercial
The role: Background male or female (all ethnicities, 25 to 50)
The breakdown:"Will be pretending like you are animal wranglers. Must be OK around live lion."
The compensation: Scale