"Bancroft Rehabilitation Centre," goes the facetious greeting at the end of the line, "how may I direct your call?"
About a month after being clinically dead from a brain hemorrhage, veteran comic Wayne Flemming has found his sense of humour, if not 100% of his equilibrium.
The comic, who sounds remarkably together over the phone from his Bancroft home, is best known to many as Jim Carrey's best friend, going back to their Yuk Yuks road days together. But then, he's a lot of people's best friend, judging from the number who've volunteered to perform at a series of Flemming benefits next week at Yuk Yuks in Toronto, Hamilton and Ajax.
JIM CARREY CAME UP
Carrey, for one, stopped production on How The Grinch Stole Christmas and flew post-haste to Kingston to be by Flemming's side. "Doctors said I was 50-50 at that point, so I guess he felt there was no freakin' around. I was in intensive care for nine days, and everybody's like, 'Yeah, man, I was there. I remember Jimmy and Renee (Zellweger, Carrey's girlfriend), my girlfriend, my father, my ex-wife, my son and Kenny (Robinson, the organizer of the benefit series). Everything else is a blur.
"It's like I told Kenny, I can't believe the fuss. I had a headache, I fell down, I'm standing up and I'm trying to get better. That's really the way I look at it."
Press a little further, though, and you get a sense of the emotional depth of the experience.
'I SAW THE LIGHT'
"It started as a small little headache, then the side of my face got all crazy and I got this razor blade thing happening, like something slashing me. I was driving my girlfriend to the post office and I said you're gonna have to drive. Then I got out, put snow on my face, fell down, it was unbelievable. The next thing I knew, I was in the hospital.
"I saw the light, and that's an interesting thing, because it's not like a tunnel like everybody says. All I saw was a huge beautiful thing like a nuclear blast.
"I actually feel ... well, I don't know what it is that I feel, but I'm different. Things that used to matter before don't matter. I love the world and I love everyone in it. I'm overwhelmed by the love that the comics have shown me."
He's been on the phone most days with Carrey, who's matching all the proceeds from the shows next Tuesday at Yuk Yuks Superclub (Orson Payne, David Merry, Martha Chavez, Gardhouse, Wade McIlwane, Ronnie Edwards, Carla Collins), Wednesday in Ajax (Paul Smith, Martina, Evan Carter, Kerry Talmage, Derek Edwards, Lou Eisen, Glen Ottway, Winston Spear, Jean Paul, Mike Wilmot, Frenchie McFarlane), and Thursday in Hamilton (Darren Frost, Stan Thompson, Steve Cox, Donnie Coy, Mark Walker, Chris Quigley, Jason Rouse and more). The rehabilitative drugs he's on aren't cheap -- $700 per bottle of 100 --- though ACTRA benefits pay part.
"I have a ways to go, but all the things I've been paranoid about, my motor skills and everything, they'll all come back. I'm having a hard time remembering my act, but I was overdue to write some new material anyway."
It's a second close call for Flemming, who was booked to open for Rick Nelson on the singer's last tour. He would have been on the plane in which Nelson crashed, but for bowing out to spend New Year's near his kids (Flemming and Robinson were both scheduled to open for Nelson the following week at the Imperial Room).
"It's freaky," he says. "I really don't know why I've been spared twice. I guess it's up to me to find out."
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