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SAN FRANCISCO -- Sean Connery arrives like General MacArthur returning to the Philippines.
Connery is a star. Not an actor. Nicolas Cage is an actor. Ed Harris is an actor. Sean Connery is a star.
Flunkies trail, co-stars pale, major executives bow and scrape, even the legendary George Lucas is lost in the melee, as the great man bounds from the red and white ferry that has brought him back to the Rock.
Last summer, he and co-stars Cage and Harris spent several weeks shooting on the five hectare hunk of god-forsaken granite in San Francisco Bay.
On Monday, they were back to stage the world premiere of The Rock.
Disney was mum on how many hundreds of thousands of dollars it cost for the bash. But 500 stars, their friends and family, and journalists were treated to four kilometres of fresh fetuccini, 68 kg of fresh Pacific red snapper, 86.5 kg of tenderloin, 81 kg of fresh mushrooms and nearly 5,000 asparagus tips.
Dressed casually in a brown parka, well-used cardigan and a black cap with the film's name, Connery says he's glad to be back on the Rock.
"It's thrilling - because I know I get to leave in a couple of hours."
Overhead, TV station helicopters circle like mechanical vultures. A vintage bi-plane flies by pulling a huge sign warning 'Frisco dwellers to "prepare to Rock."
A guy in a tuxedo walks by, trailing a line of water. On closer look, the tux is covering a wet suit. His named is Jeff Bunch and he windsurfed out to the island. He's soon collared by the park wardens but not before he's had a drink with Connery. He's given a ticket for trespassing on federal land. "Maybe they'll put windsurfers in their next movie," he says glumly.
Circling the island are a number of yachts. I yell at the guy, "What are you doing here?" The captain of the Five Stars, out of Sauslito, answers back on a loud hailer: "We're groupies."
A swarm of jet boats buzz the island like angry bees. A bearded Nicolas Cage lands, accompanied by his wife, Patricia Arquette. The lady is wearing a dark brown, three-quarter-length satin coat with matching pants. Her blue silk blouse is picked up by her irridescent eyelashes.
A park ranger stalks by, mumbling something about a party of boaters trying to scale the cliffs on the other side of the island, neatly reversing the efforts of three decades of convicts.
A crew, in what looks to be a 19th-century whaling boat, rows past. For 29 years, Alcatraz housed "the worst of the worst" - hardened criminals who were deemed too tough for the rest of the system.
Here, Al Capone began his slow descent into madness brought about by venereal disease. Robert Stroud, the Birdman of Alcatraz, languished in solitary confinement for almost 12 years. The structure, decaying from years of assault by wind and water, has been turned into a national park where 1.3 million visitors come every year to look into the tiny cells that once caged men and marvel at the "hole," where troublesome inmates spent up to 19 days deprived of light and human contact.
But Monday, the stars were twinkling above Alcatraz Island. In what was once known as "the yard," the exercise area of the prison, Disney built a 500-seat palace to rival any theatre on the mainland.
The security for the screening is tight. Everyone is checked at the door. The premiere is the social event of the season and tickets are as scarce as a frown on Snow White's face. Connery sits in the middle of the theatre and is served popcorn, M and Ms and diet Coke.
The decadent dinner follows.
The premiere is heaven for star-watchers. Connery, his huge head gloriously bald, tears into the beef. George Lucas, looking smaller than his photographs, talks earnestly with producer Jerry Bruckheimer. John Cusack wonders about being friendly.
Disney suggested everyone dress casual and I'm feeling a bit ridiculous in my tuxedo for a live CBC broadcast. I feel a bit better when Willie Brown, the mayor of San Francisco, appears resplendent in his nautical blazer, yellow shirt and navy and yellow polka-dot tie.
At midnight, it's all over. Connery mounts the boat for the 15-minute trip back, his entourage still in tow. A fellow named Brian is out in the darkness on a piece of mouldering concrete, manning one of the searchlights playing on the exterior to give the feeling of actually being in the pen. He tells me he didn't see any of the stars but he was still pretty excited. "They say Sean Connery was in there tonight. I didn't get a chance to see him. What's he really like?" he asks wistfully.
Sean and Nicholas and Ed and George and all the hangers on and journalists have gone.
Only Brian and his clean-up crew and a few park wardens remain.
And the ghosts of the 1,576 men who served their time in the toughest prison in America.