Craig Ferguson, host of The Late, Late Show on CBS, flexes his standup muscle at Massey Hall. (Dave Thomas/Sun Media)

TORONTO -- Frankly, the last time an American late night talk show host came to town, that Conan guy, we kind of lost our self-control and gushed a bit. A little embarrassing really.

Conan's competition, CBS Late Late Show host Craig Ferguson, came in this weekend with a little less fanfare -- being just one of three gala hosts, and dozens of acts at this first-ever Just For Laughs Toronto comedy festival.

But hosting last night's festival-closing Massey Hall gala, he seemed eager to score a place in the hearts of Torontonians nonetheless.

The Scottish-born comedian, who came out wearing a No. 10 Scotland jersey, immediately set about slagging arch-rival Montreal (the city where he made his North American debut 20 years ago), announcing "I speak French, and these people are just f---ing with you!" launching into a duck-talk version of Quebecois, adding "Also French people can cook. Poutine! What the f--- is that?"

And then came the local references. "I was reading about Jane and Finch, people shooting each other... In Canada? The last civilized nation on Earth? Stop it!

"I've watched the Michael Moore movies. I heard it was all Tweety Birds up here." And then came the observation that got the biggest applause of the night (from Scots I'm guessing). "F--- it! My people built this country. You know it, and I know it."

Geez, can a week of Late Late Show location shoots be far behind?

A strong and charismatic host, Ferguson was a solid choice to host Just For Laughs' strong finish -- with a lineup that included arguably Canada's two best comedians, Russell Peters and Derek Edwards, plus one legendary comedy veteran, Dom Irerra, two hilarious A-listers in Greg Geraldo and Tom Papa, and Canada's biggest-name female standup, Elvira Kurt.

Topics ran the gamut from a terrifically funny screed by Ferguson against Tom Cruise's Brooke-shouldn't-medicate-her-post-partum-depression Today interview ("This is post-partum depression we're talking about. You're a man. Shut the f--- up!") to Papa on sexual politics ("I have two girls, and I'm trying to get them past the whole princess myth. There is no guy in tights looking to whisk you away to happy times. And if there is, he's looking for another guy in tights."), to Edwards' local traffic oddities, including an outfit called Lucky Driving School ("Our motto is 'Holy Geez, that was close!' ").

It included Kurt's "lesbian dad" experiences (she was, incidentally, the only comedian to come out wearing a tie) and Peters' heartfelt and hilarious bit on how it took a trip to India to finally make him feel Canadian.

But if there was one comic to go home talking about, it was Giraldo. The Harvard educated lawyer raised the bar with socially savvy absurdist political material. He raised mock objection to the suggestion that George W. Bush is "the worst president ever. The worst American president ever maybe, but there have to have been worse presidents. Like the president of the Selena fan club. She actually shot Selena. That's not presidential behaviour. Vice presidential behaviour, maybe."

And he came up with, to my mind, the best punchline of the festival, commenting on the American trend toward obesity. "Eventually, the typical American will turn into a fat ass with fingers. And we'll hire immigrants to flip us over and clean our ass crack.

"And people will still complain they're taking away our jobs!"

It was, in short, the sort of night that suggests a second Just For Laughs Toronto festival should be a slam dunk.

Punchline-Drunk Love: Some favourite lines from the first Just For Laughs Toronto Festival.

- "Yeah, it was sad. But you knew it was only a matter of time. Face it, that's why we watched the show."

-- Alonzo Bodden on the death of Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter.

- "You! With the water bottle! You are not getting on that plane! ... Tuberculosis? Come right in, have a nice flight."

-- Bodden.

- "We've been 40 miles from Italy the whole time and you didn't tell me? Start the car! I'll kill you later!"

-- John Pinette, who hates French food and loves Italian. He'd been shooting a movie in the south of France when a crew member suggested a short drive to Italy for dinner.

- "You know when you've had too much to drink? When you wake up and your wife says, 'Get in the house!' "

-- John Mendoza.

- "I was going to say 'You do this to everyone, right?' But I decided that would come off jealous."

-- Howie Mandel on the prostate exam you get with your checkup.

- Worst line: "A pedophile alarm has gone off across Britain. What about a pedophile alarm clock? It goes off when the big hand is on the little hand."

-- U.K. comic Frank Skinner. I've heard him do that line three times, and it only ever gets groans and boos.

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