No apologies were forthcoming, to the French or anyone else, when Howard Stern met the Toronto media via conference phone yesterday.

The shockjock did, however, characterize local radio as "dull and boring" and media here -- with the notable exception of The Sun -- as "humorless."

"I read your editorial and you got it completely right," he said of The Sun's Sept. 4 editorial, which effectively welcomed Howard Stern to Toronto. "You understand that I'm just sitting here trying to make people laugh. What (The Sun) said was 'Who cares if you like him? He's a disc jockey for crying out loud. Listen. If you like it keep listening, if you don't, turn it off.' "

Much of the questioning, however, had a doomsday tone -- epitomized by a Global reporter who said "People in Canada are offended by your comments. They say you're a hate monger." -- "Well, that'd be about right," Stern said with a laugh.

"People are saying you could be responsible for the breakup of this country," she added, eliciting a howl of laughter from Stern's sidekick Robin Quivers.

"Well, I'm not a Senator, so let me say this," Stern said. "If you sit there and make the biggest issue in your country whether or not to speak French -- that's absurd. If French is going to succeed and become the dominant language in one area, so be it. I am a big fan of the English language, primarily because it's the language I speak. I think it's a great language."

The breakfast press conference at the Yonge St. Hard Rock Cafe -- which was carried live on Stern's New York-based syndicated show -- came eight days after his Canadian debut on Toronto's Q-107 and Montreal's CHOM-FM. At that time he sent many Quebecois into conniptions with comments like "The French in Montreal should bend over for me the way they did for Hitler (in France)."

Stern did allow that commentators erroneously attached his remarks about the French in France to French Canadians. "As far as French Canadians are concerned, I don't know any. All somebody asked was, 'What do you think of French-speaking Canadians.' I said they should speak English. What's the big deal? I just don't know why anybody would take what I say seriously. I'm a disc jockey. I'm a dope," Stern said.

"Consider the source is what he's saying," Quivers added.

Questioned about the CRTC's concern over his content, and the possibility that he might have to apologize to Quebecers to stay on the air, Stern said he'd rather be cancelled. "When you treat a comedian's words the same way that you treat the president's it shows you have a humorless, lifeless country and your broadcasting will forever be dull and boring.

"There's a lot of frightened broadcasters in Canada now. For some reason everybody's got a bug up their ass about me being on Canadian radio and I'll tell you why. Canadian radio guys have had it pretty good. They've been lazy. They haven't had to work hard and now they do."

Stern dismissed a campaign against him by The Toronto Star, which has included the removal of their ads from his show, saying, "They would love for me to go away because I'm rocking the boat and I'll cost them money. I'll be taking advertising money away from newspapers."

And he maintained it'll be the listeners who'll get the last word. "You wait for the ratings, Canadians want this show -- period. They don't want to be sheltered by their government. A guy driving home just wants a laugh.

"Y'know, I've done extensive research into the Toronto market and I know the Canadian word for penis is 'penis,' believe it or not, and the Canadian word for vagina is surprisingly 'vagina,' so we've got no problem with translation."


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