Promising lots of "nudity, lesbians, and drunken dwarves", Howard Stern officially announced his entry into the late-night TV wars during a typically chaotic press conference in New York this morning.

Confirming previous newspaper reports, Stern said he will launch a one-hour weekly series that will air on CBS Saturday nights at 11:30 p.m. directly opposite "Saturday Night Live".

The show, which will incorporate bits from Stern's popular daily radio show, will be one-hour long and will debut in August.

"It is a program that will deal with reality, a program that will interview wackos from every walk of life," Stern told a room packed with reporters.

"There will be a lot of nudity and lesbians," he added. "Did I mention we'll have nudity and lesbians?

"And, as you know, speech impediments are funny."

When the show launches, it will be carried by only those stations that are owned and operated by CBS. At this point, Stern will appear on just 12 stations, representing 30 per cent of the U.S. market. (It is not yet known which parts of Canada will be able to tune into the show.)

Asked if he planned to clean up his notoriously obscene act, Stern quipped, "I know CBS is the 'tiffany network', but I thought about it and Tiffany is a stripper's name."

"As you know, 11:30 is a safe harbour. The FCC says it's fine to say penis and vagina then. So we'll be using the same sort of disgusting speech as we use on the radio."

Dispelling early reports that the show would be produced by David Letterman's company, Worldwide Pants, Stern said that he had talked to Letterman a lot and asked for advice, but that Stern's own company would be producing the show.

"The only thing that happened when Dave and I got together was we had sex," Stern said to a round of groans from the assembled media. "He performed fellatio, it was great."

Stern also addressed the problem of being outrageous in an era when TV's hottest talk show is the daily trash-fest hosted by Jerry Springer.

"What I can do is be funny," he said. "I'm not about being outrageous for the sake of being outrageous. If I was, I would've been off the air in five minutes."

Stern also sent a personal message to the folks at "Saturday Night Live".

"Don't become complacent. Just because you've been on the air for 20 years doesn't mean people ar going to stay tuned.

"They're lazy, they're tired, they're old. And they're probably having a meeting about me right now."


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