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But Williams does come to town tomorrow for the second time in '99 (he was at Yuk Yuk's in May) to host the Just For Laughs Home-grown Comic Competition at the Sidetrack Cafe. The funniest local comic at each stop on the eight-city tour gets a trip to the legendary Just For Laughs International Comedy Festival in Montreal.
The big-eared Toronto-born comic's dance card has been pretty full since he appeared as a clueless cop in Dumb & Dumber, with roles in Half Baked, Rocket Man, Down Periscope, There's Something About Mary and recent releases Dog Park and Superstar, both directed by Kids in the Hall alumnus Bruce McCulloch.
He's also wrapped shooting on The Whole Nine Yards in Montreal with co-stars Bruce Willis, Matthew Perry and Rosanna Arquette, plus he's doing voices for three animated series and has a stand-up special on the Comedy Network this Sunday night. Whew!
Talking to the easygoing funnyman on the phone from his home in L.A., we decided to stick to the spirit of comic competition and give him a "which of these things is funnier?" quiz.
So, Harland, which is funnier: Edmonton or Calgary?
I'd say Calgary is funnier. I've always laughed when I've flown to Calgary because it's just flat land as far as you can see, then all of a sudden there's this city just plopped there. It always reminded me of a Lego set, like some kid was like a Lego genius, and his parents put him out in a field to play and he built this city.
Dogs or cats?
I would say cats, because I used to love to stare my cat in the eye and start laughing. When you lay right in front of a cat and stare in its eyes and start laughing, it does one of those looks where it looks around and it doesn't know what to do, and it's the only time cats are ever unsure of themselves, and the more they do it the more you laugh. I've had stomach aches from laughing so hard at that.
Bruce Willis or Matthew Perry?
Wow, I hate to be a guy that passes on things. For the sake of possible future jobs I think I better pass.
Jean Chretien or Bill Clinton?
Oh, Jean Chretien. Just because physically he looks funnier, and to the best of my knowledge he's a good man. Clinton just makes my stomach turn, all the things he's done. I just don't even know how he's still there, how people accept him and all the crap he's pulled. It boggles my mind.
The word "buttocks" or the word "uvula"?
I'd say buttocks. Uvula sounds too much like some kind of weird skin disease: "My uvula is flaring up." Buttocks, it's, like, round and fleshy and healthy. It's a good one.
Bruce McCulloch or Tom Green?
I would say Bruce McCulloch, because I'm a huge fan of, like, subtle comedy. I think it's harder to do. I think Tom does some funny things, but Bruce is just on a really peculiar level, and it's unique. I love subtle comedy.
Lickety Split (the cuddly brontosaurus character in the series of children's books that Williams writes and illustrates) or Barney?
Lickety Split, thank you. To be honest, Barney is a little creepy to me. The way he dances, I'd love to know who his choreographer is. He's got these weird moves, and he's taught the kids the same moves. It's like watching a bad episode of Fame. And that constant grin on his face. He could get hit by a manure spreader and he'd still come out the other side smiling. It's just wrong.
Christopher Walken or Dennis Hopper?
Oh my God, I love 'em both. I'd have to say Dennis Hopper just because he's Frank Booth in Blue Velvet, one of my all-time favourite character actor pieces. So that wins out, but just by a nose.
Andy Kaufman (portrayed by Jim Carrey in the upcoming film Man On the Moon) or Jim Carrey himself?
I like Jim Carrey. I think Andy did some peculiar things, but I don't know if they're necessarily funny. I've seen homeless people do some of the stuff Andy's done, and it's just, like, annoying. He's inventive and I love him for that, but Jim can just mould any situation and make it funny, and that makes him the funniest.
Canada or the United States?
Canada is funny because you can be on the highway and you can honk at someone and flip them off and have a laugh about it. Down here you flip 'em off and it's the last flip-off you'll ever do. You'll wake up in the ditch with a bullet in the brain.