Welcome to the two-man celebrity roast. Dean Martin has staggered off to the big bar in the sky, but in his place we have Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin.
Martin and Baldwin co-hosted the 82nd annual Academy Awards Sunday night on ABC and CTV. The duo chose to open the show by gently roasting many of the nominees seated in the first few rows.
All that was missing was Foster Brooks. Oh wait, drunk can’t be funny any more, sorry.
Nonetheless, a few of Martin and Baldwin’s lines were kind of edgy.
Baldwin to Martin: “I know you loved Invictus, because it combines two of your favourite passions, rugby and tensions between blacks and whites.”
Martin to Meryl Streep: “Anyone who has ever worked with Meryl Streep always ends up saying the exact same thing: ‘Can that woman act!’ and ‘What’s up with all the Hitler memorabilia?’ ”
Martin made an all-too-accurate comment on the state of the movie industry when he said, “I love that Precious was nominated, because to me it’s the one film that really lived up to its videogame.”
And Baldwin and Martin sent a poignant message to Zac Efron and Taylor Lautner: “Take a good look at us, guys. This is you in five years.”
Some of the bits were clunkily obvious, such as taking out 3D glasses to gaze at Avatar director James Cameron.
And whatever they were trying to do with George Clooney - whom we suspect was supposed to look comically grumpy, but instead looked legitimately grumpy - didn’t work. Can you say, “Uma, Oprah”?
Overall, Martin and Baldwin get a “B” - they didn’t screw it up, but it wasn’t innovative, either.
Just like those Dean Martin celebrity roasts.
And the show went on ...
The “speed it up” philosophy meant few rambling acceptance speeches, but it didn’t mean the show in its entirety was more exciting or youth-friendly. How do you think the youth of today enjoyed that introductory 1940s-style song-and-dance number by Neil Patrick Harris?
Robert Downey Jr. had a great line when he described the partnership between actors and writers as “a collaboration between handsome, gifted people and sickly little mole people.”
Speaking of sickly little mole people, Ben Stiller came out as one of those Avatar thingys. Man, Stiller is the king of groan-worthy, predictable attempted comedy that goes on way too long, isn’t he?
And wasn’t it cheesy that the band played I Am Woman after Kathryn Bigelow’s best-director speech?
Random thoughts on the red-carpet coverage:
Why did the interviews seem so breathlessly rushed?
It looked as if Penelope Cruz threw up in her own mouth when interviewer Jess Cagle referred to her as the “veteran” among the five best-supporting-actress nominees who were gathered.
Clooney was seen running along a chain-link fence and high-fiving people trapped on the other side. What is this, Guantanamo?
Sandra Bullock’s red lipstick arrived about an hour before she did.
And finally, why does model-turned-red-carpet-interviewer Kathy Ireland pronounce EV-E-RY SYL-LA-BLE SO RO-BO-TI-CAL-LY?
bill.harris@sunmedia.ca
