p>PLOT: A bookish little boy surprises the bullies at school when Shark Boy and Lava Girl -- characters from his imagination -- turn up to save the day.

The Adventures Of Shark Boy And Lava Girl In 3-D is a film that must be watched with a pair of cardboard glasses stuck across one's face. Oh, goodie. This may not be unmitigated joy for persons older than 8 or 9, tops. Just so you know.

"Everything that was or is began with a dream," the film announces, a blithe dismissal of most human endeavour if ever we heard one. Never mind. The Adventures Of Shark Boy And Lava Girl In 3-D is an homage to the power of dreams and to the endless drivel available about dreams and particularly the dreams of children, so don't think you'll escape the lecture, speaking of wish fulfillment.

Max (Cayden Boyd) is a dreamy little boy who gets bullied at school. Max is in grade four. He keeps a journal and writes about his dreams and thoughts and his imaginary friends, Shark Boy and Lava Girl, and their adventures. His classmates laugh at him.

One day, when a big storm strikes or maybe it's just a dream of a storm we couldn't say because frankly we'd already lost interest by then, Max is as surprised as his classmates are when Shark Boy and Lava Girl themselves turn up at school to save everybody from the storm, real or imagined.

They take Max and fly off to Planet Drool, where there is more chit-chat about dreams and making your dreams come true and how dreams disappear and all. There's an ice bridge and a train of thought (clever) and some other special effects type stuff on Planet Drool, but none of it especially memorable.

The children battle electric plugs. Lava girl can shoots sparks out her hands; Shark Boy can chomp through everything with his shark teeth, and so on. Try to remember your dreams! Learn to dream with your eyes open! Sugar will give you nightmares! Dream a better dream, an unselfish dream! These are just a few of the script nuggets about dreaming.

Criminy. Go sleep with the fishes and dream all you like, we say, but that's another story.

The Adventures Of Shark Boy & Lava Girl In 3-D also has David Arquette and Kristin Davis in the cast, but not for any reason we could figure out.

This film is a family affair for filmmaker Robert Rodriguez -- one little son has the writer's credit and other sons have cameos in the film. Very sweet, but for fans of Rodriguez's work (Spy Kids movies, Sin City, Once Upon A Time In Mexico) The Adventures Of Shark Boy & Lava Girl In 3-D is very disappointing. Disappointing in 3-D, what's more.

(This film is rated G)
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