In the words of another famous talking dog, Beverly Hills Chihuahua looks like something for me to poop on.

But honestly, and with apologies to Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, this Disney comedy isn't quite the chew-toy the ads make it out to be.

Credit low expectations -- who knew mediocrity could be such an effective marketing tool?

A cocktail of live-action and CG directed by Raja Gosnell (Scooby Doo), Beverly Hills Chihuahua follows a spoiled pocket pet named Chloe (voiced by Drew Barrymore) from her swanky California digs to the seedy streets of Mexico.

Well, semi-seedy, anyway. Because this is Disney, the worst thing that could happen to you here is a bad burrito. The results should please undiscriminating families and animal lovers -- enough so that Chihuahua is expected to earn as much as $30 million this weekend -- but it's still a lot more Alvin and the Chipmunks-meet-Taco Bell than Lady and the Tramp.

Jamie Lee Curtis plays Vivian, a cosmetics designer who leaves her pampered pup Chloe in the care of her flighty party-girl niece Rachel (Piper Perabo). Before you can spell t-e-q-u-i-l-a, Rachel's heading south of the border for a good time with a dismayed Chloe in tow.

Once there, the uppity canine winds up lost, dog-napped and forced into the canine-fighting circuit. She eventually escapes with a gruff German Shepherd named Delgado (Andy Garcia) and is shocked to discover shifty characters -- and the voices of Latin American comics -- abound. Among them Cheech Marin as a conniving rat, Paul Rodriguez as his iguana partner and George Lopez as feisty Chihuahua Papi. "We're Mexi-cans, not Mexi-can'ts," he proclaims.

Hard to believe it wasn't so long ago the heroes of all-animal adventures couldn't talk at all.

For Hollywood's next trick, maybe they should give them dialogue worth all the effort.

(This film is rated G)

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