If you thought the Titanic had an ill-fated voyage, just wait till you take a gander at Boat Trip.

Jerry (Cuba Gooding Jr.) and Nick (Horatio Sanz) are a pair of hopelessly straight guys.

In film comedies, that means they only have eyes for women but can't seem to make a genuine connection.

In Nick's case, his first and only consummated relationship was with a prostitute, but he talks a good talk and walks a good walk, at least in his eyes.

Jerry is desperately in love with Felicia (Vivica A. Fox), who has fallen for the hunk who services her car.

She intimidates him so much he throws up on her the day he tries to propose and can't understand why she turns him down.

Jerry and Nick hear from friends that the best way to score is to take one of those singles cruises where women outnumber men at least 10 to one.

Boat Trip, opening today, is meant to be a wicked little comedy so Jerry and Nick inadvertently end up on a gay cruise that doesn't hit its first port for four days.

Understandably Jerry and Nick are initially adamant they are straight - but not for long.

Jerry meets Gabriella (Roselyn Sanchez), the dance instructor who has sworn off straight men because they only know one way to connect. Nick gets to play gay when the Swedish tanning and breast-implant team are rescued at sea and have to train on the boat.

Their den mother and team captain Sonya (Lin Shaye) will only allow a gay man to slather suntan oil on her girls.

Boat Trip would like to think it's in the same league as such gay-themed classics as Some Like It Hot, The Ritz and The Birdcage.

Forget it. Those films had wit to spare and a true sense of comic momentum. Boat Trip lurches along, leaving reputations floundering in its wake.

It's not just Gooding's showgirl outfits that are a drag, but they're definitely a fitting metaphor for the movie.

(This film is rated AA)

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