PLOT: In the same way that Scary Movie spoofs thrillers, this silly outing sends up romantic comedies. Biggest difference? This isn't very funny.
Put Alyson Hannigan in a fat suit, give her a South Asian mom and an African American dad and a Japanese sister -- hyuk! hyuk! -- and that's your basic joke turf in a little outing called Date Movie.
Even those inclined to laugh at the puerile idiocy of the Scary Movie franchise (guilty) can barely muster a chuckle at this so-called spoof-fest. It's not terrible. It's not offensive. It's just ... nothing.
Borrowing mostly from My Big Fat Greek Wedding for a story line, the film has Hannigan pining for an Englishman (Adam Campbell) while her dad (Eddie Griffin) insists she marry a man of her own heritage, which is Greek/In-dian/Japanese/Jewish.
Hannigan pursues the man she loves anyway.
This permits Date Movie to make lame jokes with bits and pieces of Hitch, The Bachelor, When Harry Met Sally, You've Got Mail, Legally Blonde, Meet The Parents, Meet The Fockers, Wedding Crashers, Napoleon Dynamite, How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days, What Women Want, Lord Of The Rings, Pretty Woman, Mr. & Mrs. Smith, Kill Bill, King Kong and The Wedding Planner and Paris Hilton's car-wash commercial and so on and so forth.
Hitch is portrayed by Tony Cox, who is a dwarf. Hey! That's a joke, people.
The Wedding Planner hilarity involves a Latino woman with a gigantic bum; her name is Jello.
Get it? Get it? Your sides will ache. Uh, huh.
A cat has noisy diarrhea in a steal from Meet The Fockers and a child's first word is 'beyotch' in another nod to that movie; someone coughs up a furball, pimple pus hits a mirror, Carmen Electra gets covered in green goo. Laugh?
Thought we'd die.
There's nothing really inventive in Date Movie. If you saw Eddie Griffin in Undercover Brother (or anything else) then you know he's one of the funniest people on the planet; he's not funny here. Are you getting the picture? There is only one funny bit in Date Movie, and it's Jennifer Coolidge done up like Barbra Streisand in Meet The Fockers.
And that's about it.
BOTTOM LINE: Are we typing too fast for you? This is a total waste of time and money. Unless you're 10 years old.
(This film is rated PG)
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