How many times have you asked yourself this question:

Why do aliens always reveal themselves during sex?

Like, why not during a driving exam, or when they're in the shower, or maybe over morning coffee? It's such a mystery.

Decoys is a new Canadian film about alien women hiding out on a university campus. True to form, the women from space tend to look good, seduce the locals and -- shazam! -- show their heinous alien form during sex. Kind of predictable.

The movie opened in theatres yesterday but was not preshown to critics.

Corey Sevier and Elias Toufexis star as Luke and Roger, campus roommates and good friends. Roger is keen to lose his virginity, so when two blond babes flirt outrageously with the two guys, they couldn't be happier.

As it turns out, the women (Stefanie von Pfetten and Kim Poirier) just happen to have tentacles coming out of their midriff, tentacles that freeze their victims from the inside out. It's creepy, but not in any original kind of way. Luckily, before too many men are killed, Luke discovers that fire is like kryptonite to these otherworldly seductresses. Whew.

Decoys is part science-fiction, part horror and part comedy, and some of the laughs are even intentional.

The film has a handful of creepy jump scares, several plot twists that don't make too much sense, characters utterly extraneous to the plot and bad dialogue -- pretty much all you could ask for in a perfect first-date movie.

There's something breezy and cheeky about Decoys. The film's best feature is that it never takes itself too seriously, but that's also its biggest flaw. It plays like a TV movie. And not a great TV movie.

Decoys is one for the rental list.

(This film is rated 14-A)

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