Derailed is the right name for Jennifer Aniston’s first post-Friends film.
Unfortunately for her, the “sexy, psychological thriller,” as Aniston has described it, is one trainwreck of a film.
Strangers On A Train — Alfred Hitchock’s classic thriller — it ain’t.
Aniston and yummy British co-star Clive Owen play two astonishingly attractive, unhappily married people who meet on a Chicago commuter train when she comes to his rescue by paying his fare.
Owen, who sadly gives up his British accent, is dealing with a seriously sick child and a distanced wife (Melissa George) at home, so he’s ready for a little diversion.
“You used to kiss each other goodbye in the morning,” their daughter observes sadly of her parents.
What Owen’s character isn’t anticipating is how crazy his life is about to become after he succumbs to his attraction to Aniston, thanks to two nasty bad guys (French actor Vincent Cassel and rapper Xzibit).
Lots of goofy plot twists and turns follow, but it’s not a good sign for anyone involved when the audience laughs at them.
Girl-next-door Aniston is horribly miscast as the sexy stranger, although it must be said her hair looks great throughout. It seems her idea of acting upset, mysterious, or anything in between is just to scrunch up her face. (It wasn’t good the first time with Rene Zellwegger.)
But the biggest waste of talent here is Owen, who was so good in Closer and Croupier, and must be wondering how he ended up in this stinker.
The one breakout performance is that of Wu-Tang Clan’s Rza, who manages to steal every scene he is in as Owen’s clever, cool office assistant with a shady past.
The always riveting Giancarlo Esposito is also underused as Rza’s uncle, a street-smart detective.
Most of the blame goes to Swedish director Mikael Hafstrom (Evil), making his English language feature debut, and screenwriter Stuart Beattie (Collateral).
Hafstrom has succeeded in making a sexy, sleek-looking movie, with lots of grey and blues tones, cool-looking architecture, and beautiful people, but seems hopeless with his actors, who are often times over-acting or not acting at all.
Then Beattie has written an overwrought melodrama — adapted from a best-selling novel — that provides the audience with little to no emotional investment in the characters they are watching.
Derailed, indeed.
BOTTOM LINE
Jennifer Aniston is horribly miscast in this unintentionally funny psychological thriller about an affair gone wrong. Even worse, Clive Owen loses his British accent. The only reason for people to see this film is the scene-stealing performance of Wu-Tang Clan’s Rza, who plays Owen’s clever office assistant.
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