This is a review of Disaster Movie.

Just out of interest, why are you reading it?

If you liked Meet The Spartans, Epic Movie, Date Movie and Scary Movie, then you will be shelling out your money to see Disaster Movie. For people who like this sort of thing, this is just the sort of thing they like. So you needn't read on.

And if you hated Meet The Spartans, Epic Movie, Date Movie or Scary Movie (bit of a slow learner, are you?) then you won't want to be caught dead at Disaster Movie, because it's all the same sort of putrid crap from the same sort of people. Deja vu. All over again. And so forth.

So you needn't read on.

Disaster Movie spoofs some of the disaster movies -- are we typing too fast? -- of the past year, such as Cloverfield, and also many of the superhero movies of the past year, including Iron Man, Hancock, Hellboy II, The Dark Knight and The Hulk. It also has bits about television personalities such as Dr. Phil and about other movies, such as 10,000 B.C., No Country For Old Men, High School Musical, Indiana Jones and The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull, Kung Fu Panda, Sex & The City (Sarah Jessica Parker's Carrie is played by a man here -- funeeee), Step Up, Juno, The Love Guru, Enchanted, Night At The Museum, Superbad and, weirdly, Alvin & The Chipmunks.

None of it is amusing, so there's probably enough suicide-inducing material here to make a send-up of The Happening redundant.

There are two moments in Disaster Movie that make people laugh out loud: The first is when a guy gets dog poo on his face. We can't remember the second one.

There is a funny song in the High School Musical spoof that rhymes 'city' with 's---y'. That was sort of cute.

Carmen Electra and Kim Kardashian are in the beginning of the film, but not for any reason we could figure out. The four main characters are played by Matt Lanter, G. Thang, Nicole Parker (done up like the princess in Enchanted) and Crista Flanagan (as a Juno-esque pregnant teen). They wander around New York as disaster strikes, as in Cloverfield, and they have to make their way to the museum to rescue Matt Lanter's love interest, played by Vanessa Minnillo. Disaster pursues them as they go. That's about it.

The big risk taken by the filmmakers was to include an Amy Winehouse look-alike in a particularly stupid bit at the beginning of the movie. You can figure out why that's risky all by yourself. Anyway, just thinking about Disaster Movie bores this viewer so much that we do believe it's nap time.

(This film is rated 14-A)

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