Dr. T and The Women is not about Dr. T and it's not about the women, either. It's about Dallas, in all its materialistic glory.

Director Robert Altman doesn't condemn Big D for its wretched excess -- far from it. He has said his film is a satire, but he seems to celebrate the high style that has characterized the city since the days of J. R. Ewing.

Altman gets the look right: the big hair, the brightly coloured Escada suits, the Range Rovers, the palatial mansions. The dialogue is dead-on, too -- bleach blonds exchange air kisses and address each other as "sugar" and "baby girl."

But because this is a Altman picture, don't expect a plot or any semblance of structure. The film meanders from one situation to another, seemingly to showcase Dallas stereotypes.

Richard Gere plays Dr. Sullivan (Sully) Travis, gynecologist to Dallas' society mavens. His waiting room is always packed and he is perpetually behind schedule, despite the efforts of his nurse (Shelley Long) to move things along.

Dr. T's home life is a mess, as well. His wife (Farrah Fawcett) has lost her mind, regressing into a childlike state for reasons that aren't too plausible.

The older of his two daughters, Dee Dee (Kate Hudson), is planning her gala wedding with trips to Tiffany's and elaborate showers. His younger daughter, Connie (Tara Reid), demands his attention by making accusations about Dee Dee's maid of honour.

And his champagne-swilling sister-in-law, Peggy (Laura Dern), is staying at his house with her three young daughters.

Meanwhile, he's growing increasingly more attracted to Bree (Helen Hunt), the new golf pro at the country club.

All these women, by the way, just happen to be blond.

Anyone who has visited Dallas or even watched the 1980s prime-time soap Dallas will recognize the place Altman depicts. But many times his references to the city seem forced.

For instance, Dee Dee is a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader. This services the plot in no way, but it lets us watch the most famous cheerleaders in the world rehearse.

Connie is a conspiracy theorist who guides tours of the spot where John F. Kennedy was assassinated. This seems a highly unlikely interest for a pampered young woman from a prominent Dallas family, but it lets us see the grassy knoll and the book depository.

There are some amusing details, though. The examination rooms at Dr. T's office are named for famous Texas women -- Belle Starr, Phyllis George, Ann Richards.

One of Dr. T's patients asks him to help in her effort to have a Dallas highway named for a woman -- maybe Jayne Mansfield or cosmetics queen Mary Kay Ashe.

And Dr. T and his elitist buddies have created a sport that combines two favourite good ole boy activities: golf and skeet shooting.

Still, these are just amusing details. And after the film wanders for two hours, growing more and more absurd, it ends in an extremely unsatisfying way.

Gere's performance is effortlessly good. As he did recently in Autumn in New York, he holds his own with what little he receives. He works well with Hunt, and their scenes together have sparks and intrigue.

But Dern is the most fun to watch, nailing the Dallas look and accent with a flamboyant performance that's never over-the-top. She also gets to wear the most outrageous clothes, including an enormous lavender hat covered in feathers and a zebra print blouse with matching bracelets, headband and handbag.

(This film is rated PG)

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