Without kids, I'd be at sea heading into Dragonball Evolution, the inevitable live-action Hollywood treatment of one of the most popular manga/anime franchise of the past few decades.
The Dragonball Z TV series version was on permanently in our house several years back. I nicknamed it "the angry show," for its faces contorted in rage, and single fights that could last -- I kid you not -- several episodes. It was like anime crack.
That level of enjoyable craziness is not to be found in Dragonball Evolution, indeed there's not even a hint of it until the last act, when we get one good honkin' "kamehameha!" (the ultimate harnessing of one's "ki" that can blow away your enemy like concentrated feedback from a speaker at a Metallica concert).
The rest of the time, director James Wong (Final Destination) throws ingredients from different genres of teen flicks before we find ourselves in a world that looks even vaguely like Dragonball's Earth.
There's a Karate Kid opening as Goku (Justin Chatwin) gets tired of playing the nerd in his post-corporate high school and gives a gang of cardboard bullies the beating of their lives without lifting a finger against them. There are numerous moments redolent of Disney teen movies, embodied by Goku's cute relationship with martial-arts grrrl Chi Chi (Jamie Chung) and some Smallville moments.
And there's Goku himself, unmistakably Asian in his anime incarnations, but essayed here by a young white actor who -- with Goku's trademark standing widow's peak -- looks more like Ace Ventura than a teen who discovers he's really a super-powered alien.
To non-fanboys, the Luke Skywalkerishness of Goku's story will simply seem derivative -- teen born to a galaxy-spanning destiny, powers brought to life via a "master" named Roshi (a deliciously overacting Chow Yun-Fat, the only castmember who seems to understand the dumb dialogue is supposed to be humourous), and an ultimate villain to defeat.
Said villain, the green-skinned Piccolo, is played by an unrecognizable James Marsters (Spike from Buffy The Vampire Slayer) with no particular flair save for a probably genuine bad mood that informs his delivery. He and his henchwoman Mai (Japanese pop star Eriko Tamura) are out to collect all seven "Dragonballs" strewn around the Earth. The DBs, which kind of look like red snowglobes, give the collector one wish when amassed -- Piccolo's being basically to trash the entire planet.
On the good-guy side of this Easter Egg hunt, we find Goku, Chi Chi, Master Roshi, a gun-toting teen markswoman named Bulma (Emmy Rossum) and a reformed thief named Yamcha (Joon Park). (All are legit characters from the Dragonball canon, though considerably changed).
For a franchise known for its lengthy knock-down/drag-out fights, the combat is quick and a little too clean in Dragonball Evolution. But for its many faults, the movie does serve the purpose of establishing a world and a good number of recurring characters, leaving the next (hopefully better) big-budget Dragonball movie with less 'splainin' to do.
Assuming there is a next one.
(This film is rated PG)
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