Fool's Gold, which aspires to be a wet & wild romantic comedy, is just foolish.
Not offensive. Not icky. Not even naughty. Just stupid.
Makes you wonder about Hollywood.
The talkies revolutionized the medium 80 years ago. In the romantic comedy genre -- invented as soon as you could hear voices on screen -- technology allowed actors not just to talk but lovers to banter, debate, quibble, poke fun and argue in potentially witty ways. When done well, this kind of movie is funny and sexy.
You might assume that, after thousands of tries in the genre, it would be easier to create one.
Obviously not. Not even re-teaming smiley gamin Kate Hudson and chiselled goofball Matthew McConaughey, who paired up five years ago in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, worked in Fool's Gold.
In addition to good chemistry -- and there at least seems to be some electrical spark between the leads -- you need a plot that is light on its feet, like Fred Astaire on a dance floor.
The clunky plot in Fool's Gold is exactly what you don't want. There are several genres in play and they are cobbled together by director Andy Tennant with no finesse and little narrative logic.
There is the obvious one, the slapstick romance between the stars. They play a divorcing couple who obviously still love one another. But, as the smart one, she is fed up with his wild dreams of finding a sunken treasure that dates back to Spain's rape-and-pillage period in the Americas. As the lovable idiot, he tries every trick he can to continue the treasure hunt but also win her back.
Meanwhile, there is a thriller component that involves a rapper thug. It leads to actual bloodshed and a body count, introducing a nasty element that seems unnecessary, if not a racist cliche.
There is also a dreary father-daughter drama going on in another subplot. It features Donald Sutherland, labouring along with a horrid English accent, and Alexis Dziena, who plays a spoiled brat in the potato-head style of Paris Hilton. I adore and respect Sutherland but this is awful and he does not seem to realize it.
His scenes are almost painful to endure and this subplot muddies the crystalline waters that Hudson and McConaughey are diving into.
As for the treasure hunt, it is what Alfred Hitchcock used to call the McGuffin. Everyone pursues it, yet it is meaningless. The hunt was staged off the coast of Australia and briefly in the Bahamas, where the story is set. It may seem to anchor the plot but it is not what the movie is actually about.
In this case, you are actually supposed to care about the embattled exes and whether they will survive the adventure and rekindle their love. Problem is, I don't care and suspect few of you will either.
So we are left with posturing. Think about the poster. McConaughey and Hudson are burnished in gold posing on a beach. He is actually clothed (he spends much of Fool's Gold shirtless, narcissistically showing off his buff physique). She is in a bikini.
By Hudson's own account, her breasts were enhanced without permission. It also appears they sculpted her natural body.
It tells you all you need to know about Fool's Gold -- it is a deception and just a tad disappointing when you look too closely.
(This film is rated PG)
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