Busy little boys with big bad toys: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is all testosterone, mad science and military might.
In the midst of real world conflict that looks ugly on TV, G.I. Joe glorifies an exciting fantasy version of good vs. evil. It is wish fulfillment. The good guys are ready to kick bad guy butt in what is called "the not too distant future."
The movie is all spectacle. If you already love the Transformers series and you want your summer movies to be brainless adrenalin rushes, then G.I. Joe is more of the same, only different.
The same, because both came from Hasbro action toys and each franchise is designed to sell more merchandise.
Different, because Channing Tatum's hero character in G.I. Joe is so bland, in comparison to Shia LaBeouf's quirky performance in Transformers.
The same, because things blow up real good in both movies. Why bother with character development when you can destroy something, like a car, a truck, a train, a reputation, an iconic landmark or a whole city?
Different, because G.I Joe is all about humanity, while Transformers uses Earth as a playground for alien conflict.
The same, because the storylines are simple minded, the jokes are cheesy and the people are caricatures.
Different, because G.I. Joe has delusions of 007 grandeur, while Transformers steals more from the Terminator series.
As toys, the G.I. Joe line was launched in 1964, later morphing into a comic book and cartoon series. Video games followed, and now we have Mummy creator Stephen Sommers' expensive big-screen adaptation.
Sommers plays fast and loose with the imagery, weaponry and origins stories from the comics and cartoons. He mostly gets away with it because the the Joe world is less established than other comicbook heroes, such as Batman.
Other than the boring Tatum, the Joe casting works. Sienna Miller is eye-candy in black leatherette as good-bad girl the Baroness. Ditto for Rachel Nichols as redheaded heroine Scarlett.
Among the men, Dennis Quaid does his usual gruff authoritive thing as General Hawk, while Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje commands our attention as Heavy Duty. Christopher Eccleston is all brash bravado as the arms dealer McCullen, while Joseph Gordon-Levitt is suitably creepy as the madman doctor.
For comic relief, Marlon Wayans plays Tatum's soldiering sidekick.
Mentioning the actors, however, might give the impression there is acting in the movie. Not really. There are archetypes, actors posing just long enough to establish a character, get into the body armour and start the action by kicking, punching, running or shooting.
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