PLOT: The Wicked Stepmother from Cinderella finds out where the balance of good and evil in all fairy tales resides, and sets out to make sure that evil triumphs. Bwa-haha! Good concept. Mediocre movie.

Happily N'Ever After has a terrific premise: A "bad" character from a fairy tale finds out how to tip the balance so that good stops triumphing over evil in all such fables.

Unfortunately, the movie spins that out in a matter of minutes, and from there, there's nowhere to go but to the land of loud filler.

The film is a modern retelling of Cinderella. It bills itself as a satire, but it isn't -- it's a loud, brassy cartoon with uninspired vocal performances. Can't children be trusted to enjoy something that's not frenetic? Apparently not.

The action is set in motion when the wizard of fairy tales (George Carlin) leaves the land of fairy tales to go golfing in Scotland. We're not sure why that's supposed to be funny. He leaves things in the hands of his two helpers, Munk (Wallace Shawn) and Mambo (Andy Dick). They screw up.

Their mistake permits Cinderella's wicked stepmother (Sigourney Weaver) to change the balance between good and evil in all fairy tales. Wolves and giants and ogres and general bad guys turn up to terrorize the locals.

Prior to all that, however, Ella -- as in Cinderella -- is pining to go to the ball and be chosen by the handsome prince. What Ella (Sarah Michelle Gellar) doesn't realize yet is that the pampered prince (Patrick Warburton) is a total drip. The good guy, the guy to watch, is Rick, the prince's servant.

And Rick (Freddie Prinze Jr.) is crazy about Ella. Awwwww.... will true love prevail?

Who gives a rat's ass.

After the bad guys and the good guys duke it out for a while, the story winds up with some hooey about choosing your own ending.

Gaggez-moi.

Happily N'Ever After is computer-animated. It is burdened with too much ersatz rock 'n' roll, a distinct lack of plot and a too-long running time. This could explain the lacklustre acting.

BOTTOM LINE: If children will sit still for "once upon a time" in a book, why does it all have to be dumbed down (and turned up) for the screen? Interesting story idea fades fast. But what do we know.

(This film is rated G)
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