What's it all about, Rob Gordon?
Movie-goers were singing a similar tune about a man named Alfie 34 years ago.
In that film, Michael Caine was a Cockney womanizer who was being defeated by his lifestyle.
The same is true of John Cusack's Chicago record store owner Rob Gordon in the relationship comedy High Fidelity.
Like Alfie, Rob talks directly to the camera, sharing his rather warped but hilarious insights with the audience.
As with Alfie, women are Rob's undoing as well as his obsession.
His latest girlfriend Laura (Iben Hjejle) has just walked out on him and Rob's not too certain exactly why.
He has his suspicions, but that's not enough, so he makes a list of his five worst breakups and searches out the women to see if there is some kind of pattern.
What made Alfie such a memorable film was that the women in his life were as colourful as he was and they were played by exceptional actresses.
This is not the case in High Fidelity.
Hjejle is a bland actress whose lacklustre performance brings into question why Cusack's Gordon would be so determined to get her back.
The same is true of Lisa Bonet as the blues singer who thrives on being a one-night stand.
Catherine Zeta-Jones has the best cameo as the former girlfriend who tells Rob exactly what he doesn't want to hear.
The guy she dumped him for was better looking, a better lover, more fun, more secure, more focused and more mature.
She confirms what the audience has divined from listening to and observing Rob.
It's to Cusack's credit that he peels away the layers of Gordon's personality so completely, yet in a most entertaining way.
He is the heart and soul of this picture and were he not so charming in a quirky, off-beat way, High Fidelity would be a bit of a broken record.
Cusack makes Rob an arrested adolescent in a man's body. He's obsessed with music and how it has impacted on his life.
The best scenes in the film unfold in the record store and not just because this is Rob's domain. It's because his two assistants are played with scene-stealing aplomb by Todd Louiso and Jack Black.
They're like an incredible vaudeville act. Louiso's Dick is chronically shy and prissy, whereas Black's Barry is positively volcanic.
Because they are so much more interesting than the women in Rob's life, Louiso and Black often skew the film away from the relationship angle it is so desperate to explore.
High Fidelity reunites Cusack with British director Stephen Frears, who directed him in The Grifters. Frears brings the requisite edgy, claustrophobic quality to the tale.
High Fidelity will work best for those who can see a bit of Rob Gordon in themselves or who may have known a Rob Gordon or two.
If they find Rob amusing, they'll do the same with his story. If not, they'll be begging for him to grow up and get on with his life and let them do the same with theirs.
(This film is rated AA)
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