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The phrase "It is what it is" was practically invented for movies such as High School Musical 3: Senior Year, the latest instalment in the Disney franchise that has turned kid-friendly showtunes into the latest pre-teen craze.
As series fans (and their parents) already know, the movies are about as innocuous as they come: All fresh-faced innocence and sexless angst, with nary a keg party, a defiled pastry or a skinny-
dipping shot in sight.
Which is exactly as it should be, of course, since HSM's target demographic is
actually kids in junior high (if not younger).
Plus these are musicals we're talking about -- throwbacks to the Judy Garland/Mickey Rooney vehicles of the late '30s, in which kids didn't kiss and all life's problems could be solved by simply gettin' the gang together and puttin' on a show.
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The same template exists in all three of the HSM outings: The first movie found the jocks at war with the smart kids after basketball star Troy (all-American Zac Efron) fell for brainiac transfer student Gabriella (hottie Vanessa Hudgens); the second saw the rival cliques reconciled, but slaving their summer away at a stuffy country club; and the third finds them counting down the days to graduation, with all the handwringing and anguished cries of, "Will I ever see you again?" normally associated with that
little milestone.
OK, to be honest, we had to check the Internet for a refresher course on the first two flicks (both of which aired on the Disney Channel in the States and Family Channel in Canada as TV movies, unlike Senior Year, which debuts on the big screen). The movies may have 'tweener crowds lining up in droves, but for adults, they're pretty forgettable, including the new one.
It doesn't help that the central conflicts -- will Troy play college B-ball with buddy Chad (Corbin Bleu) or follow his acting dreams to Juilliard, and how's he gonna deal when Gabriella accepts early enrolment at faraway Stanford? -- ring a bit false, since most of the action is just setup for the flashy musical numbers anyway.
In that department, Senior Year delivers, juxtaposing big-budget set pieces -- such as the opening number on the basketball court, or the Broadway-ready I Want It All, sung by scheming rich girl Sharpay (Ashley Tisdale) and her well-meaning twin brother Ryan (Lucas Grabeel) -- with smaller-scale fare, like a rain-drenched, rooftop waltz between Troy and Gabrielle.
To be sure, we're not talking about West Wide Story here -- not even Grease, for that matter -- and a couple of the numbers fall flat (just try not to giggle when Efron goes postal in the gym, huffing and puffing as a storm of basketballs literally rains down from the ceiling).
As far as the acting goes, Efron is plenty charismatic, and Hudgens proves demure enough to make you forget about those cellphone nudie pics.
But as always, it's Tisdale and Grabeel who get all the juicy bits, leaving the supporting cast (Bleu, his sassy girlfriend Monique Coleman, the bespectacled wallflower, assorted jocks and cheerleaders) to either smile wanly or seethe unconvincingly from the sidelines.
All six leads make the most of their final curtain call, and yes, those are probably real tears they're shedding.
But in case you're worried the third flick will be the last, know the stage is already set for a new crop of freshman to take over in the fourth.
Class dismissed? Hardly.
(This film is rated G)