Hayden Panettiere is pretty darn cute, but even her inestimable cuteness isn't enough to transform I Love You, Beth Cooper into a movie you'd want to see.

This is a bizarre high school romantic comedy about the class nerd and the popular girl.

It seems to want to be an edgy story, but it's just depressing.

It's graduation day, and the valedictorian, Denis Cooverman (Paul Rust) has been convinced by his best friend to skip the usual speech and instead use his time at the podium to declare his unrequited love for the most popular girl in school.

Beth Cooper (Hayden Panettiere) is pretty and blonde and the captain of the cheerleaders, and she doesn't even know our Denis is alive.

But she does now.

Denis' valedictorian speech about Beth and his feelings for her manages to insult half a dozen other kids at school -- a bully, a mean girl, Beth's cruel boyfriend and even Denis' own best friend Rich (Jack Carpenter), who is possibly gay.

Way to go, Denis.

Surprised by Denis' speech, Beth Cooper and her henchgirls drop over to Denis' house that night, potentially to mock him.

There is awkwardness all around. Denis hurts himself opening champagne. Then Beth's irate boyfriend turns up and starts wrecking the place. Beth and Denis and their cronies drive away.

There's a cow-tipping scene. Place your bets that someone steps into a cow plop. Then there's a trip to the mean girl's house for a grad party. Beth's irate boyfriend is there, and more fighting follows.

Throughout it all, jokes are made about whether or not Rich is gay. Denis gets hurt some more. Beth Cooper drives like a crazy person.

Her driving isn't the only thing that surprises Denis.

Beth kisses some guy at a convenience store so that he'll sell her beer -- she's underage -- and Denis is stunned that she'd do such a thing.

This is not the Beth Cooper he imagined.

Inadvertently or otherwise, I Love You, Beth Cooper turns into a creepy commentary on class and a creepier commentary on how men view women.

It's tough to feel sorry for Denis when Beth Cooper fails to meet his fantasy expectations, especially as she's so much more interesting a character than he is.

The movie sometimes flirts with the dark side of adolescence, which is great, but it always pulls back and goes for the sitcom visual: dad with his pants down; tampons for a bloody nose; the dangerous raccoon.

H'yuck!

The character of Denis is rather too well written.

He's such a dweeb that it's tough to relate to him in any way, and if he has redeeming qualities, they don't show up here.

Funny how that works.

What's most objectionable in the story is Denis' discovery that even though he may not get the girl, he's superior to her in intellectual and economic ways that will eventually make him her social better.

Golly, that's uplifting.

(This film is rated PG-13)
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