Lindsay Lohan's new romantic comedy, Just My Luck, is strictly for tweens.
These youngsters are about the only ones who'll overlook the film's dreadful writing, dull direction and disappointing performances just to get a glimpse of their teen queen.
Just my Luck is a corny, paint-by-numbers comedy about a young Manhattan woman, Ashley (Lohan), who is blessed with endless luck.
A New York downpour stops long enough for her to get a cab and every light turns green, so she's early for an important meeting.
David Pennington (Chris Carmack), the richest, most eligible bachelor in town, is smitten and the insanely rich record mogul Damon Phillips (Faizon Love) entrusts her with throwing a launch party for his newest rap videos.
Then there's poor Jake Hardin (Chris Pine), a struggling music promoter who has impossibly bad luck. The only rain cloud in New York follows him around.
As luck and about a dozen silly plot contrivances would have it, Ashley and Jake kiss at the masquerade video launch and their lucks are switched. Nothing good can happen for Ashley and nothing bad for Jake. This body-switching, luck-switching gimmick worked remarkably well for Lohan in Freaky Friday, showcasing her flair for physical comedy.
In that flick, she positively sparkled. Not so this time.
Looking almost a decade older than her 19 years, Lohan plods through a series of lacklustre slapstick scenes. Even in designer outfits she looks bored. Her smiles and laughs are forced and she doesn't even attempt to bring sincerity to her dull dialogue.
There's no real chemistry between Lohan and Pine, so it's difficult to care whether Ashley and Jake will eventually get together or not.
Pine employs the same goofy smile for Jake's good and bad days, which is supposed to show the guy is an eternal optimist who'll be happy come rain or shine.
There is a lesson for young viewers. The gypsy woman (Tovah Feldshuh) tells Ashley she lost her luck because she didn't appreciate or share it. She basked in her good fortune, instead of sharing it with her two best friends, the impossibly giddy combo of Dana (Bree Turner) and Maggie (Samaire Armstrong).
There's a vital lesson in there for Lohan. She's been blessed with enormous natural talent, which she is squandering in favour of living large and living fast.
There are scary hints in Just My Luck that she's already burning out.
Talk about bad luck.
(This film is rated PG)
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