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The Last Airbender is boring, and it's boring in 3D.
That means you need to wear an annoying pair of plastic glasses to experience a dull story full of cheesy special effects, too much talking and 2D characters moving around an oddly colourless landscape. Talk about adding insult to injury.
A re-jigged Jesus story about resurrection and salvation, The Last Airbender is based on the animated TV series called Avatar: The Last Airbender. It's a fantasy action picture about a world divided into four kingdoms: Air, Water, Earth and Fire. The Fire people have declared war on everybody else, and go around hurling flaming bolts hither and yon. What's really needed is the Avatar, the one person capable of controlling all the four elements, but no such person has materialized in over 100 years.
The story begins with Katara (Nicola Peltz) and her brother Sokka (Jackson Rathbone), who are people of the Water nation. They live in a land of ice and snow. Katara is a waterbender, so she can wave her hands around and manipulate huge volumes of water, plumes of liquid that can surround an enemy and capture him in a cage of ice. Early on, Katara and Sokka discover a mysterious sphere of ice, and when it cracks open, a boy and a huge furry sky bison creature emerge.
The boy (Noah Ringer) has odd tattoos on his head. When he is particularly charged up, his eyes glow white and a white arrow appears on his forehead. Doesn't take long for people to realize he is the long-awaited Avatar, Aang. Aang is a reluctant hero, however. He is stunned to see how much the world has changed in the 100 years he's been away, and heartbroken to see the damage wrought by the warring Fire nation.
Everybody is interested in the Avatar. Some have less than positive ideas about him, however. A disgraced Prince Zuko (Dev Patel) must capture the Avatar and bring him to his father, Fire Lord Ozai (Cliff Curtis) or he will never regain his honour. All the Fire people are against the Avatar, as he will return the world to peace. They prefer oppressing everyone else, especially other benders, but news of the Avatar's return soon gives courage to those who can bend earth and water. Aang inspires others and uses his air-bending skills to blow the enemy away -- literally -- but his skills in bending the other elements aren't very good yet.
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As the story moves around from the Northern Earth Kingdom to the Northern Air Temple, past the talking dragon-thingy to the land of the white-haired princess and plenty of fighting and on to the special place of the fish spirit of the moon, it's hard not to think about ripping your own head off just to make it stop. The characters never shut up. They are spilling endless, tedious, unimportant plot details and/or fuzzy philosophy at all times.
All the talking can't distract you from noticing how dull everything looks, however, and after the first 20 minutes you discover that if you've seen one fire bolt or water plume, you've seen them all. The movie includes boring sequences in which everyone appears to be doing Tai Chi; it's a work-up to their brief, element-bending moment. You so won't care.
Fans of the beautifully crafted TV show will be bitterly disappointed by this film version of the story. So who will like this movie? Maybe kids, aged about eight to 12 -- and by kids, we mean mostly boys.
And only if they're not easily bored.
The Last Airbender is meant to be the first film in a trilogy, and it ends with a situation that can only lead to a sequel. In that case, we can recommend the movie in the same way you might recommend hitting yourself in the head with a hammer: Because it feels so good when it stops.
(This film is rated PG)
liz.braun@sunmedia.ca