Sex in a wedding comedy — like sex in a marriage — never hurts. Except when it’s between an Oscar winner and a libidinous goat.

In Our Family Wedding, said actor is Forest Whitaker, who winds up cornered and humped by a rogue Viagra-gobbling bovid prior to the event of the title.

Granted, most of the, uh, details are kept off-screen, sparing us the full billy, as it were. But the fleeting sight of Whitaker pinned by a thrusting, Baaaah!-ing goat must be the most degrading thing to happen to an Academy Award recipient since Ben Affleck’s career.

And it underscores what a mess the movie is — a clumsy cobbling of sentimentality (the better, actually) and slapstick (the worse).

Whitaker’s character is Brad Boyd, a skirt-chasing radio host whose son, Marcus (Lance Gross) has just announced his engagement to his college sweetheart Lucia (America Ferrera).

Because there’s no coincidence too absurd for the screenwriters, Brad already knows Lucia’s father, Miguel. Prior to learning their children were getting married, tow-truck operator Miguel hauled Brad’s prized car away.

So predictably neither patriarch — Miguel, the family man, and Brad, the ladies man — embraces the union-to-be. That leaves Lucia and Marcus with little choice but to endure their feuding fathers while persevering with the plans. Hence dresses are fitted, cultural traditions quibbled over and seating plans tackled with the gravity of a military invasion.

Still, for all the competing subplots, everything here is about as surprising as alcohol consumption at the Elvis Wedding Chapel in Vegas.

For instance, will Brad finally wake up to the fact the woman for him (Regina King as his lawyer) has been at his side all along? Similarly, will Miguel realize he’s neglected his own spouse, Sonia (Diana Maria Riva)?

Unlike most Hollywood comedies that are either as white as my pasty Irish hide or entirely colour-neutral, director Rick Famuyiwa sets his over-the-top tale in a race-conscious Los Angeles. But as with everything about Our Family Wedding, nuance isn’t a consideration.

Only the cast — led by Whitaker and Mencia as they begrudgingly bond between squabbling sessions — makes it bearable. Ferrera and Gross are endearing. And as her smart-mouthed sister, Isabella, Anjelah Johnson merits bouquet consideration.

It probably spoils nothing to say they all live happily ever after — especially the goat.

(This film is rated PG-13)
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