Latest ‘Evil’ painful to watch

A scene from Resident Evil: Afterlife (Handout)

A scene from Resident Evil: Afterlife (Handout)

MARK DANIELL, QMI Agency

, Last Updated: 8:06 PM ET

First, the good news: If you're a fan of the unkillable video game adaptation, then don't worry; it looks like there's going to be yet another installment in the Resident Evil series.

Now, the bad news: If you have to review movies for a living, you will be forced to endure another one of these cheesy, post-apocalyptic zombie pics in another three years.

Picking up where Extinction left off, Resident Evil: Afterlife opens with Alice (Milla Jovovich) still dodging zombies and seeking revenge against the evil Umbrella Corporation for starting the virus that has pretty much eliminated humanity.

In a lowbrow Matrix-rip opening, Alice -- and a bunch of Alice clones -- shoots up Umbrella's headquarters in Tokyo in an attempt to track down the comically bad Albert Wesker (Shawn Roberts).

After she dispatches pretty much everybody, Alice finds time to doll herself up (it's incredible that in a world pretty much barren of anything, lipstick and makeup are still in supply) and then head off to Arcadia, Alaska, in search of the refugees she sent packing at the end of Extinction.

There, she finds one survivor -- the dour-looking Claire (Ali Larter). We don't know how long she's been on her own, what she's been eating or how she's managed to stay warm, but moments later, Alice and a remarkably clean-looking Claire are in the air headed to Los Angeles, where they stumble upon a small group of survivors in a building surrounded by zombies.

By this point, if you're still in the theatre, pat yourself on the back. One of the four people in the theatre I was in left as soon as Alice's plane is saved from flying off the roof by one guy -- the Jordan-shirt wearing Luther West (Boris Kodjoe).

As it turns out, the building is a prison -- predictably there's a Hollywood producer amongst the survivors and the last inmate still incarcerated is Prison Break's Wentworth Miller, who carries a look throughout the remaining 40 minutes that says, 'What the hell just happened to my career?'

As the group hatch a plan to escape to a ship called the Arcadia, director Paul W.S. Anderson shamelessly uses 3D effects to continue plundering from the Matrix's bullet-time playbook.

I will admit, begrudgingly, that when Alice leaps off the skyscraper with dozens of zombies behind her, the shot looks marginally cool. But I was immediately brought back to the reality of how bad this movie is moments later when a biggie-sized zombie shows up to give her the business.

Of course Luther's regular-guy bullets can't stop this super killer; only Alice's quarter-filled shotgun can do the trick. Plenty of zombie blood flies your way (wow, James Cameron sure must be proud), but they finally make their way to Arcadia.

Here, Wesker really hams it up with his Agent Smith neck crack. And just when you hope it will all be over for good, Anderson offers up a cliffhanger that guarantees this nightmare will never end.

Unless, fingers crossed, it gets killed at the box office.

(This film is rated 18A)

mark.daniell@canoe.ca


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