PLOT: A small-town cop investigates the drowning death of a student from a nearby private school. Distractions include the school's attractive photography teacher and memories of the long-ago suicide of the cop's older brother.
Ed Burns could soon be making a cameo on comedian Kathy Griffin's TV show My Life On The D-List if he's not careful.
The likable New York actor-screenwriter-director has been taking some dodgy roles of late -- anyone remember him as the big-game hunter sent back to prehistoric times in A Sound Of Thunder that came and went from theatres recently?
Burns, who has more often than not failed to live up to his potential since the release of his 1995 indie sensation, The Brothers McMullen, may be taking jobs to fund his own movies, I suspect.
What else could explain his presence in the low-budget, U.K.-Canadian film, The River King, a slow-moving, badly-written, and messily constructed whodunit that succeeds in being boring and not much else.
Set in a small town -- it's actually Halifax in the dead of winter -- Burns plays a cop who's investigating the drowning death of a boy (Halifax newcomer Thomas Gibson) from a nearby private school. Was it suicide, an accident or murder?
When Burns' police officer meets the school's photography teacher (British transplant Jennifer Ehle), sparks fly despite her impending marriage to another teacher (British actor Julian Rhind-Tutt).
What follows should have been fraught with tensions: The small town cops versus the privileged private school snobs. The outsider status of the dead boy and his platonic but cozy relationship with a female student (Montreal actress Rachelle Lefevre), who's dating the school's thoroughly unlikable head boy (British actor Jamie King). The forbidden affair between Burns and Ehle. You get the idea.
Instead, there are lots of silly side plots involving Burns being haunted by memories of his older brother who committed suicide, and messages the dead boy may or may not be leaving in the photographs Ehle's character is taking.
Had director Willing and screenwriter David Kane concentrated on fewer characters, and more interesting story arcs, they might have actually been onto something here.
No doubt everyone went into this thing with the best of intentions.
It's based on a 2000 novel by Alice Hoffman (Practical Magic was another of her books that was adapted for film), and directed by British film-maker Nick Willing (Close Your Eyes, Photographing Fairies).
But there are so many red herrings and so many cast members given so little to do -- notably Ehle who was so good as Elizabeth Bennett in the 1996 BBC mini-series, Pride And Prejudice and Canadian veteran actor Sean McCann wasted in a small role as Burns' father -- that no plot line or character is developed enough so that you actually care about what happens.
Burns is definitely watchable as the good-looking, honest cop -- how about giving this guy his own Law & Order franchise? One of the few performances you'll actually remember is that of Lefevre, who infuses her portrayal of a lonely, guilt-ridden girl with some real emotion.
BOTTOM LINE: A boring whodunit mystery that's a muddled mess. The BBC does a much better job every week with their Mystery series.
(This film is rated 14-A)
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