Magic, of course, is misdirection. And for years, Jerry Bruckheimer's potion-for-success has been as mechanical as it is lucrative. The formula? Take a flesh-deep script and souped-up production sizzle, and distract from the shallowness of it all with wildly overqualified actors.
They can be idiosyncratic (Steve Buscemi in Con Air) or inspired (Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean) or regal (Helen Mirren in the National Treasure sequel), but the goal is the same: the illusion of class, even artfulness.
Yet as evidenced in Bruckheimer's latest production, The Sorcerer's Apprentice, the sleight of hand is beginning to feel arthritic. It's a shame, too, since, while this marks the seventh Bruckheimer-Nicolas Cage collaboration, it's the big-budget live-action blockbuster debut of Canadian Jay Baruchel, a genuinely unique screen presence. Consider his turns in She's Out of My League and How to Train Your Dragon. Baruchel can invest an otherwise one-dimensional weakling with heart and wit. Better still, his pairing with the equally skewed Cage is ideal. Together, they should be out-there, sanity-optional gangbusters.
But as directed by Jon Turteltaub, The Sorcerer's Apprentice is strictly a corporate, middle-of-the-road entertainment. Undiscerning families will probably show up -- they did in droves for Turteltaub's National Treasure -- but the disappointing Apprentice is more meh than wow.
The story opens with a muddled centuries-ago flashback, where the ancient wizard Merlin and his nemesis Morgana Le Fay are clashing over the fate of humanity. On the side of good: Balthazar Blake (Cage) and Veronica (Monica Bellucci), betrayed by their former ally Horvath (Alfred Molina). During events too convoluted to explain here, Horvath is imprisoned while Balthazar spends the next several hundred years searching for Merlin's successor.
He eventually finds him: a dweeby 10-year-old New Yorker named Dave Stutler (Jake Cherry). Their encounter, to understate matters, doesn't go well. Horvath is unwittingly set free, a battle between the two wizards ensues complete with lightning bolts and after they both disappear, Dave is left to explain what happened. As a result, he's even more ostracized than before.
A decade later, Dave (now played by Baruchel) continues to shake memories of that fateful day. Not that life isn't improving. He's a promising physicist, for one. And he's even attracted the attention of gorgeous, bright Becky (Teresa Palmer). So naturally this is precisely when the two mystical enemies re-appear and Balthazar appoints an aghast Dave to be his new apprentice. Conversely, Horvath drafts a celebrity magician named Drake (Toby Kebbell, conjuring Criss Angel) to assist in his quest to resurrect Morgana.
Sounds exciting, doesn't it? So it rings false when Dave continues to be more dazzled by Becky than his own supernatural abilities. (As Baruchel himself joked, he's been practicing shooting energy out of his hands since he was a kid; really, who hasn't?)
Nevertheless, Balthazar persists in training his pupil, culminating in a homage to Disney's 1940 classic Fantasia, with Dave standing in for Mickey Mouse, amid an roaming army of mops brought to chaotic life.
Less supportive of his acolyte is Horvath, who disapproves of Drake's decadent glamour. The irony? The Sorcerer's Apprentice is precisely the movie Drake would make: So much flash, so little amazement.
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