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September 12, 2009
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Movie Review: Sorority Row

Nothing to fear in 'Sorority Row'
By JASON MACNEIL -- Special To Sun Media
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Although not a horror buff by any stretch of the imagination, there have been some films which have left this reviewer frightened for days.

The Blair Witch Project for one and without question another being Mamma Mia!

However, the horror genre sometimes leaves little to the imagination, and this is particularly true of Sorority Row, a remake of the 1983 film but with its own "new and not necessarily improved" sticker smacked on it.

Perhaps the biggest buzz surrounding the film is that Rumer Willis, the daughter of Demi Moore and Bruce Willis, is in it. Well, that and maybe the fact a "pimped out tire-iron" (resembling a Swiss Army tire iron) is the weapon used in slowly killing off the sorority sisters of Theta Pi.

The story opens with six Theta Pi girls and their plot to get some payback on Garrett, a college student caught cheating on one of the girls. Jessica (Leah Pipes) and Cassidy (Briana Evigan) are in on the hoax which leaves Garrett believing Megan (Audrina Patridge) is dead.

Playing along, the girls and Garrett drive Megan's body out to a deserted mine, adding they'll dismember the body so no one will ever know. However Garrett ensures Megan's death with a tire iron through her upper chest. "She wasn't dead!" Garrett exclaims as the girls quickly decided what to do next.

Jessica, Claire (Jamie Chung), Ellie (Rumer Willis), and Chugs (Margo Harshman) believe nobody should know and it must remain a secret while Cassidy feels the police should be called.

Eight months and one last sorority bash later, a person in a dark robe begins killing the girls and others in the way, leaving text messages about who is dead and who is next. Some of the girls are slain during the farewell party while others are done away with after the party has ended.

The final moments have a few plot twists but nothing which leaves you breathless. It leaves you yawning if nothing else.

As for the acting, Willis is basically a fourth wheel in the film, resulting in Evigan (who sounds eerily like Demi Moore at times) and Pipes having their moments and often bickering with each other. Willis - who believes a killer will never check a closet -- steals one scene by stating the obvious: "We're so dead!"

And what's the deal with Carrie Fisher portraying Miss Crenshaw, the sorority's overseer who ensures the girls are taken care of? Even she is unable to kill the hooded maniac, using a double-barreled shotgun to take aim but always missing her mark.

Perhaps a light-saber would have served her better.

With the culprit found, Cassidy, Jessica and Ellie fight for their lives before fire engulfs the home of Theta Pi.

Like horror flicks that believe they can squeeze a sequel from, Sorority Row's final scene gives the impression that perhaps Sorority Cul-de-Sac is on the horizon.

Let's hope one dead end of a horror film is enough, that Sorority Row dies hard and leaves no ghost behind.

(This film is rated R)
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