The good news: the world will still be here on Dec. 22, 2012.
The bad news: so will Jon and Kate Gosselin.
But wait -- doesn't the Mayan calendar forecast doomsday on Dec. 21, 2012, a prediction manifested with gonzo fervour by director Roland Emmerich in the new flick 2012?
Maybe so. But aside from the fact Emmerich lost all credibility when he put bucket seats in an extraterrestrial spaceship in Independence Day, Hollywood has always gotten Armageddon -- and the future in general -- wrong.
After all, for decades, filmmakers have prophesied doom, gloom and despair brought on by such war, clones, aliens, robots, plagues and Satan. So as you wonder if you should make vacation plans for 2013, remember these 10 big-screen near-futures that never materialized:
10. End of Days (1999)
Forget Y2K. The Prince of Darkness couldn't have been more popular in the late 1990s if he'd duetted with Aqua on Barbie Girl. None of the films heralding his millennial comeback was larger -- or sillier -- than this supernatural actioner in which Schwarzenegger's rent-a-cop battles Gabriel Byrne's Satan. Schwarzenegger would later decide it's better to reign in hell than serve in heaven and become governor of bankrupt California. Sorry, I mean "Col-eee-forn-ee-ah."
9. 12 Monkeys (1995)
In 1996, a virus decimates mankind so Bruce Willis spends his days travelling through time in the hopes he can go back to the past and convince himself not to make Surrogates. Or The Whole Ten Yards. Or Bandits. Or Hostage. Or Tears of the Sun. Or The Kid. Or ....
8. The Terminator (1984)
James Cameron's classic about a cyborg from the future who travels back in time to kill Linda Hamilton predicted the machines would nuke humanity in 1997. Just think: if they had, we wouldn't have had to sit through Terminators 3 and 4.
7. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982)
As Ricardo Montalban's Khan tells us, he and his crew of test-tube muscle-men fled Earth during a world war in the mid-1990s. So that's what happened to Kevin Sorbo.
6. 2010 (1984)
We all know that by the time of Arthur C. Clarke's 2001, we were supposed to have perfected artificial intelligence and space travel. But by next year, we were also trekking to Jupiter alongside the Soviet Union to rendezvous with the extraterrestrial architects of life on Earth. Still, before you think we've squandered our potential for greatness, remember: in 2010 they didn't have Twitter.
5. Blade Runner (1982)
Director Ridley Scott's cyberpunk epic unfolds a mere decade from now in 2019 -- but in this grim universe, we've already colonized other planets, invented flying cars and engineered androids that, despite being life-like, are dangerously unhinged under their artificial facades. The closest we have to them now is Kathie Lee Gifford.
4. A Boy and his Dog (1975)
By the time our story unspools in the 2020s, World War IV -- yes, IV -- already happened in 2007. Understandably there's not much left on our pulverized planet except for Vic (Don Johnson) and his telepathic dog Blood. Interestingly, Johnson's next on-screen partner, Miami Vice's Philip Michael Thomas, would one day work for The Psychic Readers Network. Coincidence?
3. Escape from New York (1981)
In John Carpenter's sci-fi thriller, by 1997, Manhattan has been transformed into a maximum security prison populated by mutants and roving gangs of cannibals. Well, at least Fox News wouldn't have to move its headquarters.
2. Death Race 2000 (1975)
In this world, the national pastime is cheering for people to get mulched into road kill on TV. Of course in the real world, this sort of debased entertainment would never be broadcast. Just ask The Real Housewives of Orange County.
1. Demolition Man (1993)
By 1996, the Hollywood sign is on fire and civilization is under siege. Cue beret-wearing Sylvester Stallone who -- after acting like a frozen slab of beef his entire career -- is transformed into one when he and villain Wesley Snipes are placed in suspended animation (apparently using Windows 95). When they're thawed decades later, they discover a utopia that somehow still allows for Rob Schneider to exist.
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