In addition to a scrambled story, Timeline, which opens in theatres today, features serious over-acting, lousy effects, appalling dialogue, misplaced and ill-advised romantic interludes, a complete lack of tension, nothing to link the story set in the past with the section set in the present and very bad wigs. " />

 
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November 26, 2003
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Movie Review: Timeline

Timeline is a complete timewaster
By LIZ BRAUN


Timeline is a surprisingly dreadful movie. The story, based on yet another novel by Michael "Jurassic Park" Crichton, is an unwieldy and incomprehensible mess about time travel, corporate greed, unconvincing archeologists, 14th century France and the Hundred Year War.

In addition to a scrambled story, Timeline, which opens in theatres today, features serious over-acting, lousy effects, appalling dialogue, misplaced and ill-advised romantic interludes, a complete lack of tension, nothing to link the story set in the past with the section set in the present and very bad wigs.

Wait -- there's more. Some sequences in Timeline have such amateurish lighting and cinematography that you have to wonder how this mess ever happened. Furthermore, a lot of the editing is bizarre. The movie appears unfinished. That's the kindest way to put it.

In Timeline, a pack of archeologists led by Billy Connolly work on site at a 14th century castle in France.

Their dig is financed by a big company called International Technology Corporation, and Connolly's character begins to suspect that the suits (David Thewlis and Matt Craven) at ITC are hiding something.

And they are. And here's what: In trying to perfect a machine that sends objects through space -- first turning those objects into a stream of electrons, natch -- the guys at ITC have opened a worm hole into the 14th century. And now Billy Connolly's gone into the past and got himself trapped in there, with the French and the English duking it out with fiery arrows, catapults, swords and axes.

And now all his trainee archeologists (Frances O'Connor, Gerard Butler, and Rossif Sutherland) and his son (like, Paul Walker, dude) have to go back in time to rescue him. And now it's all thatched roofs and ye olde knights in armour and ye days of olde in general, with plenty of narrow escapes and swashbuckling action. Will they ever get back to the present?

Boy, will you ever not care.

The costume drama scenes in Timeline has huge appeal for younger kids, but the violence is brutal and realistic, so be warned. As anyone over the age of 12 will be appalled by how illogical the story is, the target audience for this one would appear to be fairly small.

Let's say boys and girls, aged nine to 11. And their bored and annoyed parents. That about covers it.

(This film is rated PG)

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