If it's murder living next door to a hitman, think what it's like being married to one. It could drive such people to have an affair with one another.
That's only one of the absurd comic twists in The Whole Nine Yards, a wildly funny farce filled with inspired comic mayhem.
Montreal dentist Nicholas Oseransky (Matthew Perry) has good reason to conclude his life is in the dumpster.
His wife (Rosanna Arquette) and mother-in-law (Carmen Ferlan) constantly harp at how slowly he is paying off his father-in-law's embezzling debts.
Little wonder he greets each morning by banging his head on bathroom mirrors and the steering wheel of his car.
He's about to get a real headache when Jimmy Tudeski (Bruce Willis) moves in next door.
Jimmy The Tulip, a notorious mob hitman, is in the witness protection plan because he killed several members of a prominent Chicago crime family.
Nicholas foolishly tells his wife about the identity of their new neighbour and she hatches a plan to get the cash to pay off their debts.
Nicholas is to go to Chicago to meet with Janni Gogolak (Kevin Pollak), the new head of the Gogolak crime empire.
He'll tell Janni where The Tulip is hiding, bargain for a finder's fee and head home. Sounds easy, except there are a few players and detours in the game Nicholas and the audience couldn't possibly foresee.
Pretty soon, everyone quite literally wants poor Nicholas' head.
The Whole Nine Yards is a comedy of mistaken identities and escalating absurdities. There are as many twists and surprises as there are corpses.
We're never meant to take the random killings seriously.
They are essential plot devices to remind Nicholas -- and the audience -- of the consequences.
As the ruthless killer, Willis is wonderfully droll.
It's another of his understated performances in which a glance or a raised eyebrow is as menacing as an actual death threat.
As much as Willis holds back, Perry unleashes. He bangs into windows, trips over furniture and wails rather than speaks. It's the farthest Perry has taken himself from his Friends character Chandler Bing.
He proves he's a great physical comedian.
Amanda Peet plays Nicholas' dental receptionist with sexy enthusiasm, while Natasha Henstridge, as Jimmy's estranged wife, is all cool sophistication.
Arquette is not going to endear herself to Quebecers with her outrageous caricature of a scheming French Canadian gold-digger.
Jonathan Lynn, who created such winning nonsense in My Cousin Vinny, proves once again he knows how to orchestrate pandemonium.
This time he takes that pandemonium The Whole Nine Yards.
(This film is rated AA)
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