Every so often during research for an article I come across something rather odd and surprising.

In other words, I learn something new.

(And for the record, "research" consists entirely of scanning my dog-eared collection of Forum magazines and/or beating my manservant Gary with a rake until something intelligible and loosely related to the topic at hand is emitted from his trembling lips.)

This week it was in conjunction with a story on a heavy metal night with a special Remembrance Day theme.

Now, as someone who has written about all manners of music -- i.e. stuff that pretty people sing -- for the past couple of weeks, it was something of a discovery to learn there is an entire sub-genre in heavy metal called war metal.

At first, I just assumed it was Gary messing with me again, but after a couple of phone calls, it was in fact confirmed that, yes, there is such a thing as war metal.

(By the way, Gary is doing better and should be released this Thursday -- thanks for asking.)

The small scene of bands writing songs almost specifically about combat is apparently quite popular in Australia and continues to grow elsewhere, including here in Alberta.

Now, surprising as that was, even more, shall we say, yerfreakinkiddingme-ifying, was the subsequent discovery of yet another sub-genre in the heavy metal world -- pirate metal!

Pirate metal! All pirate, all the time -- could there be anything cooler?

(OK, maybe ventriloquist metal or, possibly, hobo metal -- but still, pirate metal's pretty damn sweet.) What's more, there are, word has it, at least two such bands currently performing pirate metal in the area.

So here's the deal, if you or someone you know is in a pirate metal band, I honestly and sincerely want you to contact me because I would love to hear your music and write about what it is you do and why.

And please, serious pirate metal musicians only.

WHO'S FEUDIN' WHO

With Oasis having finished the promotion for their latest album, we have to rely on other British musicians to slag one another off.

With the release date fast approaching for The Darkness' new disc One Way Ticket to Hell ... And Back, retro duffelbag Justin Hawkins is stepping up to the plate taking aim at some of the big boys with Gallagherian zeal.

In the latest issue of Kerrang, Hawkins puts the platform boots to Bono and Chris Martin from Coldplay.

The latter is to whom he would offer that one-way ticket, saying of Martin, "What are those seven deadly sins again? Greed? Sloth? Calling your child Apple?

"He's terribly vain. I think he has a narcissism complex.

"He wants to be Bono, but he bleats in interviews about worrying about being ubiquitous.

"Make your ... mind up. If you want to be a household name, be a household name."

And the man who is in fact Bono, as well as a household name, fares only slightly better.

"I hate people being holier than thou," Hawkins is quoted as saying. "Like Bono getting an audience with the Pope, was all for Bono's ego."

Oh, and One Way Ticket is due Nov. 28. Expect it to get the band an audience with bargain bins everywhere.

QUICK HITS:

Most shocking news story of the week? One Pennsylvania man was shot and killed during a screening of 50 Cent's Get Rich Or Die Tryin' last Wednesday. Yes, only one ... As mentioned on Friday, Nick Cave will be in town this week filming a scene for the Brad Pitt film -- a remake of The Apple Dumpling Gang, or something. Apparently Cave's role consists of him singing in a bar full of people. It's hard to imagine a better day to be a film extra ... The Strokes' new album First Impressions of Earth is now set for a Jan. 3 release. They'll promote it with a handful of small club shows across the globe. No, not here ... And finally, though he'll deny any connection with me whatsoever, it's my pop's birthday today. Have a great day, old man.