Let's get ready to ruuuuummmmmble, rap fans!
It's time for the the main musical event of the fall. The war of the words. The hip-hop nation's confrontation. The ... oh, who are we trying to kid?
Let's face it: This whole supposed feud between 50 Cent and Kanye West -- with Fiddy vowing to retire if West outsells him on the day their new CDs are released next week -- is one big piece of hip-hop hype. And a predictable one at that:
There's no way Kanye is gonna move more units than the G-Unit general on Tuesday. And no way Fiddy would fade away even if he did.
Still, you gotta give them credit: They've managed to inject a little excitement into the stagnating music industry. And any way you slice it, their third albums -- West's Graduation and 50's eponymous Curtis -- are the first big releases of the fall.
So we decided to review them head-to-head and see who comes out on top.
In this corner:
Kanye West
Real Name: Kanye Omari West
Nickname: The Louis Vitton Don
Age: 30
Height: 5'8"
Hometown: Chicago
Previous Career: Student
Total Sales: 8 million
Debut CD's First Week Sales: 400,000
Grammys: 3
Bullet Holes: O
Traits: Intelligence, style, class
In that corner:
50 Cent
Real Name: Curtis James Jackson III
Nickname: Fiddy
Age: 31
Height: 6'1"
Hometown: New York City
Previous Career: Drug dealer
Total Sales: 20 million
Debut CD's First Week Sales: 900,000
Grammys: 0
Bullet Holes: 9
Traits: Muscles, bulletproof vest, firearms
Kanye West
Graduation
(Roc-A-Fella)
Good Morning (Intro) 3:17
Kanye welcomes us back to school over a lazy groove decorated with cowbell and an oohing female chorus. "This is my dissertation," he explains, rhyming valedictorian with DeLorean and calling himself "the fly Malcolm X." All this and the dude's still warming up.
Champion 2:49
This must be a first: A hip-hop cut built on a sample from Steely Dan's Kid Charlemagne: "Did you realize that you were a champion in their eyes?" sings Donald Fagen. West's humble reply? "Yes, I did."
Stronger 5:14
Kanye revamps French robo-disco duo Daft Punk's android-funk anthem Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger -- and co-opts it into an indecent proposal to a "black Kate Moss."
I Wonder 4:05
West grafts a funky beatbox to an old-style piano-and-strings ballad about finding your dreams. "You say I think I'm never wrong," he says. "You know what? Maybe you're right."
Good Life 3:29
Over a sample from Jacko's Pretty Young Thing, the Kan man celebrates his success -- like that's a change -- while name-dropping his rival: "Fifty told me go 'head and switch them styles up ... and watch the money pile up." Hmm.
Can't Tell Me Nothing 4:33
Young Jeezy's I Got Money provides samples for this contemplative slow-groove in which Kanye explains that being rich makes you arrogant. He oughta know.
Barry Bonds 3:26
"Here's another hit," boasts Kanye over a whumping beat. He's talking about himself, not the slugger -- but you still gotta give him points for timing.
Drunk & Hot Girls 5:15
Our hero hits the club at last call with wingman Mos Def, looking for a one-night stand -- and ending up with a drunk date from hell -- over a woozy late-night synth vibe.
Flashing Lights 3:59
Poppy string synths, a stompy beat and handclaps -- plus some soulful crooning by Dwele -- add up to one of the disc's most grounded cuts, with Kanye urging his woman to come home.
Everything I Am 3:49
"Everything I'm not made me everything I am," sing-songs West over a lazy piano and a soulful backdrop. DJ Premier keeps it in the now by adding turntable squiggles.
The Glory 3:34
Kanye disses the haters to a sample from '70s balladeer Laura Nyro's Save the Country -- sped up until she sounds like one of the Chipmunks. So much for giving her any glory.
Homecoming 3:25
Coldplay's Chris Martin croons "do you think about me now and then?" and tinkles the ivories while Kanye writes a love letter to his hometown of Chicago.
Big Brother 4:47
West wraps up the schoolday by paying tribute to mentor Jay-Z -- and griping about living in the master's shadow. Hey, it's never too early to start beefs for the next CD.
SUN RATING: 4 (out of 5)
50 Cent
Curtis
(Shady/Aftermath/Universal)
Intro 0:50
50 gets the filler out of the way up front with this skit -- or is it movie dialogue? -- about a small-time hood buying a gun from a fast-talking merchant. We are reminded of Chekhov. Seriously.
My Gun Go Off 3:12
See, we told you. The gun Fiddy introduced in the first act goes off in the second, popping like fireworks over a sinister stomp, a metallic guitar and tense strings.
Man Down 2:49
Looks like those bullets found their mark -- somebody's dead and the cops are trying to pin it on our boy. While fluttering strings ride a lurching offbeat, he talks his way out of the rap.
I'll Still Kill 3:43
You think a brush with the law scares 50? Ha! He comes swaggering back on this slow-burner, while Akon croons a warning: "Don't even look at me wrong when I come through the 'hood."
I Get Money 3:43
Fiddy leaves the streets and ducks into the club, dropping a bouncy banger laced with buzzy textures, swooping synths and a hey-ho singalong outro. So far, it's the CD's most likable song.
Come & Go 3:28
Dr. Dre kicks in the bass to go with the ringing grand piano and the stabbing strings. 50 Cent supplies the "Bring 'em in, kick 'em out" refrain and some forgettable verses.
Ayo Technology 4:07
Justin and Timbaland join our hero in the men's-club VIP room, where they seduce a stripper to a slinky thwacking beat and a squirrely synth. "I'm tired of using techonology," sings JT. "Why don't you sit down on top of me?" Classy.
Follow My Lead 3:17
50 moves to the lounge, mellowing out with this smooth slice of soul. As Robin Thicke croons, Fiddy tries to tempt a woman with a trip to Europe -- oh yeah, and sex in the back of his Benz.
Movin On Up 3:24
Sadly, not a cover of The Jeffersons theme. Instead, it's just another thump-thump beat, another menacing soundscape, and another boastful g-rap about Fiddy's upward mobility. Filler.
Straight to the Bank 3:10
Fiddy runs the bill counter and laughs about how rich he is over a swaggering synth-funk slow-grind. But Tony Yayo's "Ha-ha-ha," chorus is the catchiest part of the tune.
Amusement Park 3:09
"It goes up and down and round and round," explains 50 to a funkified carnival melody. "Stand up or get on the floor." Thanks, but we'll just wait in the car.
Fully Loaded Clip 3:13
While Havoc punctuates a low-end rumble with piano and string accents, Fiddy explains his priorities: "While Jay and Beyonce was hmm hmm kissing, I was cookin' 1,000 grams in my kitchen." This is something to brag about?
Peep Show 3:52
Eminem emerges from seclusion long enough to produce this low-slung groove topped with an itchy melodic sample -- and cap it with a typically whacked-out verse.
Fire 2:49
Dre returns with this tensely buzzing grinder flecked with synths and kettle drums -- and with guest vocalist Nicole Sherzinger of Pussycat Dolls.
All of Me 3:51
And the guests keep on coming -- on this soul-funk outing, it's Mary J. Blige, who effortlessly steals the show by demanding, "If I give you all of me, tell me what you gonna give me back."
Curtis 187 3:57
"I'm grindin', I'm greazy, I make a 187 look easy," boasts Fiddy to the strains of a descending bassline, a straight-up beat and a pinging synth. Easy, maybe. Novel? Not so much.
Touch the Sky 3:10
Sirens and an ominous organ introduce this final piano-driven thumper, whose singalong chorus of "get your hands up high" is guaranteed to rock the house on tour.
SUN RATING: 3.5 (out of 5)
Judge's Decision
50 Cent is definitely the harder hitter, with more stamina , tenacity and brutality. But Kanye has the moves, the brains and the footwork that makes for a true champion. We give it to West on points -- but we'll be putting our money down on Curtis to take the title on Tuesday.
