  The cover of Phil Spector's "A Christmas Gift For You From Phil Spector." |
Do you hear what I hear? Yep, it's that time of year again -- time to dust off the old Christmas CDs. But maybe you're sick of Bing and Nat and Elvis and the rest of the usual suspects. Well, allow us to help.
Over the years, we've heard hundreds of holiday offerings -- and now we've whittled that massive list down to the 12 Coolest Christmas Albums of All Time. They may not be the biggest hits of Christmases past. But they should make you the hippest DJ on the party circuit.
Happy listening -- and be sure to come back next week for our special two-page roundup of this year's holiday CDs.
12) South Park Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics (1999) Stan, Kyle, Eric, Kenny and their cartoon pals put the X in Xmas with Christmas Time in Hell, Lonely Jew on Christmas, Merry F**king Christmas and, of course, Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo.
11) Low Christmas (1999) Those who prefer a bluer Christmas will be in tune with this melancholy offering from the Duluth slowcore trio.
10) Sufjan Stevens Songs for Christmas (2006) Indie-popster Stevens makes his own presents -- holiday EPs he gives to friends and family. Now, he's regifted them to us in this five-disc box, which comes with comics, a poster and more.
9) Emmylou Harris Light of the Stable (1979) Country queen Harris is a true Christmas angel on her down-homey offering, which welcomes guests like Dolly Parton, Linda Ronstadt, Neil Young and the McGarrigle sisters.
8) The Beach Boys The Beach Boys Christmas Album (1964) Who better to score Christmas carols than Brian Wilson? And who better to sing them than pop music's finest family choir? Also includes the original Little Saint Nick.
7) How the Grinch Stole Christmas Soundtrack (1966) Sure, you see it every year on the tube. But Boris Karloff's narration and You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch are just as good without the pictures.
6) Marah A Christmas Kind of Town The Philly-born, Brooklyn-based roots-rockers get into the holiday spirits with this lightheartedly tipsy pageant of seasonal singalongs and silly skits.
5) Charles Brown Please Come Home for Christmas (1961) No, not the Peanuts kid. This Brown is a blues singer, and his version of Merry Christmas Baby -- first included on this collection -- is essential.
4) Vince Guaraldi A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965) Happiness is unwrapping this remastered, expanded reissue of pianist Vince Guaraldi's jazzy soundtrack to everybody's favourite Christmas cartoon.
3) James Brown Santa's Got a Brand New Bag (1988) Good God! This compilation of funked-up carols and soulful originals -- including the unforgettable Santa Claus Go Straight to the Ghetto -- is easily the grooviest holiday CD in our collection.
2) Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin & Sammy Davis Jr. Christmas With the Rat Pack (2002) Ring-a-ding-ding those Jingle Bells and make with the ho-ho, pally -- Frankie, Dino and Sammy are cuttin' loose on some cool yule oldies on this compilation. If you can't find this, a Dino or Frank holiday comp will do.
1) Phil Spector A Christmas Gift For You From Phil Spector (1963) Helmed by the 23-year-old wunderkind producer, staffed by The Ronettes, Crystals, Darlene Love and more, and set against his massive Wall of Sound, these 13 cuts add up the finest pop Christmas album ever. Fun fact: Spector held a department store Santa at gunpoint for the entire session!
LUMP OF COAL: THE WORST XMAS ALBUM EVER Pokemon Christmas Bash Various Artists (2001) It's bad enough this crass set of barely disguised ads for the Japanese toys literally puts the jingle in Jingle Bells. Even worse: One song is called I'm Giving Santa a Pikachu For Christmas. If this isn't illegal, it oughta be.
