Not everybody wants Drake and Chris Brown to stop fighting.
There's money to be earned in the aftermath of their club melee, that bottle-throwing bust-up, allegedly over Rihanna, in which several people were wounded.
Boxing promoter Damon Feldman says the battling rappers can earn $1 million each, plus another $1 mill for charity, if they'll make this beef legit and get into the boxing ring. The money for this celebrity donnybrook was put up by kazillionaire prankster Alki David, same guy who offered $1,000,000 to the first person who could flash President Barack Obama on camera. (He may just be promoting his video sharing website, Battlecam.com. but we like a man who deals in round numbers.)
Anyway, in announcing the boxing offer, Feldman said of Chris Brown and Drake, "Obviously they have a grudge. It's just three one-minute rounds. No one will get seriously hurt."
Scuze? Where's the fun in that? You could raise a lot more money for charity by upping the pain threshold a tad and making the fight more interesting than just your garden variety Ike Turner wannabe versus a middle-class kid from Forest Hill in Toronto. (Except for hockey, Canadians don't have fighting in the their culture so under duress, Drake could prove to be someone who slaps and pulls hair. Nobody wants to see that.)
If you want to raise money, go for Chris Brown vs. Chyna. Lots of people would pay to see Brown pick on someone his own size. Or let him go up against all the women willing to pay a $100 entry fee to take a shot at him with a rolling pin; with a match like that you'd raise $1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 in 15 minutes.
For real entertainment, some promoter should rent the Coliseum in Rome and let Drake and Chris Brown fight it out in a true gladiatorial spectacle. For historical reasons, maybe the practice of throwing Christians to the lions could be revisited. Then we'll see who has survival strategies.
Oh, wait -- Drake is Jewish, so maybe the lions wouldn't be interested.
Guess that leaves Chris Brown.