Bob Dylan - like Eric Clapton in Calgary last month - specifically requested that Jann Arden be his opening act.

That's like Bill Clinton asking Dennis Miller to write him a speech. Dylan's just asking to be lampooned. His, ahem, "distinctive" vocal style makes an easy target. Some radio station reportedly awarded concert tickets to the person who did the best rendition of a Jann Arden tune in the manner of Bob Dylan ("how does it feeeeeeel, to be so insensitiiiiiiive").

Arden may take the cue, but true to form, she already has a few gags planned for their show in the Skyreach Centre tonight. She reveals that they involve "cue cards" and the "Soy Bomb" dude (the shirtless weirdo who crashed Dylan's performance on the Grammy Awards).

"Keep your eyes peeled. You never know when that guy might show up. We've been trying to get a hold of him. I think we found him."

Arden didn't meet Clapton - and she doesn't expect to meet Dylan, either. What would she say to Mr. Enigmatic?

"It'd be nice if I ran into him at the catering truck. 'Hi, you finished with your lasagna? ... You wanna go smoke some reefer?' No - if you write that, I'll never speak to you again. That was a joke. You can write it's a joke. And then you can say that I said if you write that down, I'll kill you."

Um, consider it done.

"I don't know what I'd say. 'I really like your music, Mr. Dylan? (girlish giggle) Can you introduce me to your son? You're great, Bob, but do you have your son's phone number?' That's a joke, too."

Although our favourite Calgary pop star next to the Stampeders (two can play at this game) admits she's overdoing the Alberta market a tad lately, opening for two living legends within the space of two months was an offer she couldn't refuse.

"It's a nice opportunity," she says. "People have been saying, 'why are you opening for anybody?' It's not about that. People get all twisted up in status and who's on first and who's on second. Lilith Fair, there's a perfect example for you. Let's have a little (crappy) stage, a medium stage and a big stage. That's sure the spirit of goodwill, isn't it? That's sure equality among women, isn't it? ... it's a bunch of (crap)."

The quarterly Lilith rant out of the way, she continues, "What's next for me now? Straight down, I think. I'd like to do a duet with Annie Lennox but other than that I feel completely fulfilled."

And ready for a break. Since Time For Mercy transformed Arden from lounge singer to pop star, she's been working non-stop for about five years. After a trip into the studio in February to record her fourth album, the follow-up to Happy? (no title yet - "I might call it Sorry?"), most of 1999 will be a vacation. She promises that the Dylan shows will be the last Alberta see of her until at least 2001.

Arden says she wasn't really into Dylan when she was younger, preferring - like the majority of red-blooded Canadian girls - Olivia Newton John or ABBA. "But I remember thinking that it was really cool that he could play harmonica and guitar at the same time. I thought, whoa, would I ever love to be able to do that. Maybe I'll come out with one of those and fake it. We're opening with Mr. Bojangles, by the way."

That's a joke, too - I think.