Randy Bachman is worried. "Fiasco" is the word he uses to describe his feelings about the impending Guess Who reunion.
At the urging of Manitoba Premier Gary Filmon, the band will perform for the first time in 16 years on Aug. 8 at the closing ceremonies of the Pan Am Games in Winnipeg. They'll play four songs: No Time, These Eyes, She's Come Undun and American Woman. Mike Myers might turn up to help with the last one.
Bachman and singer Burton Cummings haven't spoken in years, at odds over money, songwriting credits, who's the biggest star, whatever. If you think the Eagles' Hell Freezes Over was something, Bachman says, his reaction to reforming the Guess Who was "when it's sunny and 80 at Portage and Main on New Year's Eve," which, as we all know, is far more unlikely than Ice Capades in hell.
Deciding factor: $200,000. Considering how basic the songs are, it works out to roughly $100 per note.
This is just the kind of "momentous" occasion that can spark a full-blown reunion. Offers are pouring in - with the kind of superstar money and attention that makes the band members' current gigs look cheesy: Bachman's Klondike Days gig tonight, Cummings "up close and alone" tours, BTO without Bachman, and the Guess Who itself (without either Cummings or Bachman). Somewhere in North America at any given time, you can hear somebody from the Guess Who performing Guess Who songs - and that's all people care about.
OLD TUNES BRING 'PURE JOY'
"They almost don't care who's performing it," Bachman says, noting the reaction when he plays those hits is "pure joy."
The same can be said of Burton Cummings, whose fans regularly enjoy a vocal and piano rendering of Guess Who memories. He's even sold out the Winspear Centre.
As for "new" Guess Who material, guess who cares? No one. It could be frustrating, but Bachman accepts it because he has another creative outlet. He's been spending time in the songwriting capitals: Los Angeles, London, Nashville. He thought he wanted to be a country writer - and in fact has a tune George Strait is considering (while the Backstreet Boys passed on another one) - but "I found that it wasn't me. I didn't wear the hat." He did, however, "actually learn how to write songs."
Let's hope he hasn't ruined the simple magic that created the Guess Who hits by learning to do it right.
Unlike fellow Winnipegger and hero Neil Young, Bachman won't torture his fans with mangled versions of his hits or new songs no one has ever heard of.
"I wanna hear Cinnamon Girl, Down by the River, The Loner, Heart of Gold, I wanna hear memories, I wanna hear hits, and that's exactly what I give my fans," he says.
It's an issue Bachman addresses in his upcoming Simpsons appearance, due to air in January.
Homer's a big fan of Takin' Care of Business and goes to see Bachman at the Springfield state fair. When the inevitable new songs come out, Homer heckles the band. Simpsons producers asked Bachman to come up with a Canadian slang of "disdain but not really hateful" for a comeback. So, for the first time since Bob and Doug McKenzie's Great White North, the word "hoser" will enter the American lexicon.
'10 YEARS OF DRIVING THOSE PRAIRIES'
It goes hand in hand with Bachman's new-found legendary status in America, something Neil Young has enjoyed for years. You can hear Guess Who and BTO songs in dozens of feature films, covered by dozens of different artists, including Lenny Kravitz doing American Woman.
Does Bachman think he deserves it?
"Yeah," he says, "with no problem saying that. Just from the beginnings in the early '60s with the Guess Who, nobody could say me or any of those guys was an overnight success. It was 10 years of driving those Canadian Prairies, playing literally every wedding and high school and prom and bar mitzvah and picnic and barn dance. We played everywhere. I can go to any city in Canada and somebody comes up to me and says, 'I saw you here, centuries ago playing so and so.' It's quite amazing."
Bachman plays the Telus stage at Northlands tonight. Admission is free with your $5 K-Days pass.
