Ever been trapped alone with a mime?

It's frightening, let me tell you. Once the novelty wears off after about two seconds, you want to wipe that chalky white smirk off their face and scream, "Damn it, you and I both know you're not trapped in an invisible box. Now say something!"

Similar feelings occurred during a chat over the phone with "Bjorn" from Australian ABBA tribute group Bjorn Again, performing Tuesday at the Winspear Centre.

He stubbornly stayed in character throughout the entire interview. He is Bjorn and he is not Bjorn. He is Bjorn Again.

It's all very confusing.

This is no lark. This is a phenomenon. Tuesday's 8 p.m. show is sold out, the 5 p.m. nearly so.

Bjorn Again has been called the greatest ABBA impersonators in the world, if not the only ones. Even the real ABBA - which has vowed never to re-form, not that they have to with Bjorn Again filling the ABBA void so nicely - thinks they're swell.

ABBA's Bjorn Ulvaeus himself sent them a telegram: "The best of luck. Anyone who looks like me ought to have a successful career!"

Bjorn Again is a remarkable facsimile. Bjorn gives his last name as "Volvo-us." His partners are Benny Anderwear, Agnetha Falstart and Frida Longstokin. Add umlauts where you wish.

Intriguing questions arise: What kind of performers would devote their entire careers to the music of someone else? What are the challenges of maintaining one's identity in such a setting? I wish I could explore these ideas, but "Bjorn" is lost in his role.

He speaks in a singsong combo of Swedish and Australian, "Ya, ya, people say we are a lot like ABBA, which is a compliment. We are pleased to be associated with a band like ABBA."

The show will be a "party," he goes on.

"People come and they sing along and they dress up in our fashions. We like it when people dress up in our fashions, as fashion gurus for the 21st century we are. Ya. Platform shoes are good. Lots of glitter."

The story of Bjorn Again: In 1988, four musicians were riding in a helicopter when it collided with a giant platform shoe from outer space.

They crashed on a desert island, lost their memories and were taken in by kindly folks in Melbourne, Australia.

"All we knew were our names and that we had these melodies going inside our heads," Bjorn says. "We just started singing. I struggle with a bit of amnesia to this day. I've obviously forgotten where I live. I'll have to ask Benny later. He remembers these things better than I do."

Yah, you get the idea.

Attempts to make "Bjorn" break character are fruitless. Asked whether he might've picked a more worthy band than ABBA to live and breathe, he seems not to understand the question. He says he's a heavy metal fan, but the "girls" don't like it. Ah, a foreshadowing of musical hilarity during the concert, perhaps. Then I suggest that perhaps he's not the most egg-shaped egg in the egg carton.

"Nay, nay, I think I'm doing all right. I have the love of a very good woman and we have a very nice lifestyle. We travel around the world and meet a lot of very nice people. I don't think I need psychiatric help. Do you think I need psychiatric help?"

Ya, maybe. Beatlemania I can understand, but ABBA?

Tickets to Bjorn Again are on sale at the Winspear box office (428-1414).

Don't forget your platform shoes. (More on: Bjorn Again).