In my day, we were taught to show respect.

We were also taught that smashing a thermometer and bouncing its mercury around the room was great fun.

Ah, well, live and learn.

The latter you do after giving birth to children with enormous craniums and incredible superpowers, the former happens when you address legendary ghoul rocker Alice Cooper as mister.

"I sound like a math teacher when you say Mr. Cooper," the musician says good-naturedly before affecting a school boy voice."'Mr. Cooper -- the dog ate my homework.'

"Coop, just Coop, or Alice -- either one."

Fair enough. Although, if there is someone deserving of a certain amount or respect, Coop is it.

The 56-year-old Detroit native born Vincent Damon Furnier has had a career that's spanned more than three decades, produced a number of memorable hits (School's Out, No More Mr. Nice Guy, etc.), and influenced such rock bands as Gwar and Marilyn Manson thanks to a groundbreaking live show that incorporates horror film theatrics.

His current tour, which brings him to the Telus Convention Centre tomorrow night -- wear a costume, he advises, and if you're in the front 20-or-so rows, wear plastic -- is to support his latest album The Eyes of Alice Cooper.

It's a rock record that returns him to his roots, and one he says he's been ready to make for more than a decade.

Now, Coop thinks the time is right.

"This album is so -- you don't want to say retro," he says. "It's funny because the band's who ... you'd say are the hippest bands in the world right now are The White Stripes, The Strokes, The Vines, Jet -- all snotty garage bands. And every single one of them are playing 1968 Detroit garage rock."

For his part Coop thinks those bands are the best thing to happen to rock in awhile, noting how corporate music has become and citing American Idol as proof.

"If one hair is out of place, you're voted off the island," he says. "Kids in the mall are ready for just good ol' dirty rock 'n' roll.

"I think that's why Avril Lavigne is doing well."

Yes. You read that correctly.

"I think right now she's got the best voice in the business. She's got an unbelievable voice," he says, aware of how that may sound to, well, everyone.

"You know what? I don't care," he laughs.

"I never have cared. I also say I like Burt Bacharach, too, so it doesn't matter."

No, Mr. Cooper. It doesn't indeed.