Though shalt not brawl with bad rock bands.

That's one of the 10 Commandments isn't it?

So you have to wonder what the heck-diddly-heck was on oily God-rock posterboy Scott Stapp's mind last week when he went all Old Testament on the boys in 311 in a hotel bar.

Actually, percolating behind his sloped neanderthal forehead was probably the fact his debut solo album The Great Divide landed earlier that week with a thud at No. 19 on the charts.

But, anyway, according to reports, Stapp -- former member of Creed, one of the holy trinity of modern rock ... um, whatever the opposite of saviours is -- and members of the veteran band were staying at the same hotel in Baltimore during the American Thanksgiving.

After a cordial meeting earlier in the day, things turned a little surlier that evening when 311 were watching a basketball game in the lounge (I know what you're thinking, and no, I didn't know Motel 6's had lounges either).

According to a posting by 311 on the band's official website -- meant to clear up rumours -- Stapp "appeared intoxicated. He drank a shot at the bar and then threw his shot glass, smashing it on the bar.

"He was acting belligerent and got into an argument with patrons sitting at the bar ... Scott was looking for a fight -- and that's what he got."

Apparently what ultimately got fists swinging was Stapp breaking another Commandment -- the one about coveting the wife of a dude in a bad rock band and explaining in specific detail exactly how he'd like to covet her.

When the dust settled, Stapp was, according to 311, questioned by police and left after hotel management asked him to.

So that's it -- all we had to do was ask him to leave and he would have?

That would have been useful information six years ago.

But that wasn't the end of our hero's drunken shenanigans last week.

According to the New York Daily News, producers and crew members were shocked and appalled when the singer showed up to the taping of a Spike TV show all gunned up, swearing, picking fights and making sexist remarks.

Not to diminish everyone's concerns, but doesn't that sum up the entire philosophy of Spike TV?

By the way -- good news for everyone, both delicious incidents were captured on film and should be hitting the Internet very, very soon.

TWISTED HUMOUR

From the sounds-too-good-to-be-true-but-I'll-repeat-it-because-I-want-it-to-be file, comes a recent report of a Twisted Sister concert.

That in itself is amusing -- that people are still willing to pay money for a ticket and leave their homes in order to see the '80s throwbacks, but it gets even better.

According to UK gossip site Popbitch, the band was performing a show in Brighton when frontman Dee Snider stopped to acknowledge the fans at the back of the venue.

"The balcony is where all the real sick (fans) are," Snider reportedly said.

"They can't even stand up by show time. Let's have the house lights up to see them!"

At this point, the house lights were turned on and illuminated the balcony -- where the handicapped fans and their wheelchairs were placed.

QUICK HITS:

By the way, a quick question for those complaining about the Black Eyed Peas appearance during last weekend's Grey Cup halftime because a.) they're aimed at too young an audience and, b.) they're not Canadian: What would you rather see on your television screen -- Fergie's lovely lady lumps or Burton Cummings' distended belly? That's what I thought ... Can someone remind me again why anyone cares about Pete Doherty. Rock junkies are only notable when they're talented ... Expect Nickelback to be "honoured" with at least one Grammy nomination when they're announced this week. Chad Kroeger will be in New York Thursday for the ceremony ... When the Taste of Chaos tour hits Calgary April 6, apparently we will get the good stuff, as the Deftones are slated for the 'Dome date ... And finally, a concert rumour -- look for the Aerosmith and Lenny Kravitz tour to hit the city sometime early next year.